I was in first grade when I realized that I was black. Not that I didn't know I was black, I just didn't know it was a bad thing or even thing. I remember the moment it hit me. My best friend Alex and I got in fight about who's turn it was to use the pink marker. We were standing in line outside the bathroom when she blurted out "Well, that's why you're black!" Suddenly, all eyes were on me. I felt heat swell my face and the rest of my body was numb. Everyone was waiting for my reaction but I couldn't find one. I wasn't angry or sad, I didn't feel resentment or fear, I just felt that I had a secret that had been found out. My first grade emotional compass wasn't prepared for this. I looked around and realized that everyone around me including my teacher had fair skin, I was left out and I wasn't even aware until this very moment "Why didn't someone warn me about this?" That's when it hit me that the color of my skin was a flaw that the world saw and marked how people were allowed to interact with me.
I like white guys! There, I said it--did the world implode yet? I've dated a fair share of white guys, not because I have something against guys of any other race but because there are a surplus of white men in the small, Pennsylvania, college town where I am from. It's an inescapable fate that any minority faces in a small town. I choose to take it with dignity and grace but I get a lot of backlash for it from both white and black people. There is a lot that you take on as a woman dating outside your race. The worse part is that people think it's an invitation to say the first thing that comes to their mind. Beyond the obvious frustrations, stupidity that graces a human's lips, and the idea that I'm expected to have a calm, collected response for every occasion is absolute insanity. Therefore, I've put together a list of my top ten all time favorite things people both white black and every shade between, say to black girls who date white guys.
1. "You're not satisfied with your own race?"
2. "Do you like Chris Hemsworth or Idris Elba?"
3. You're not like the “normal” black girl stereotype. You're different and "well spoken". Is that why you like white guys?"
4. "How many white guys have you been with?"
5. "So do white guys like your hair?"
6. "It probably didn't hurt when you lost your virginity."
7. I've never had sex with a black girl before. I mean I hooked up with one. Her name is Keisha. You might know her. She has brown eyes and brown curly hair."
8. "Do you say racial slurs when you're around your boyfriend?"
9. "My grandparents are from the south but they'll love you."
10. “You know you're letting your entire race down.”
