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Insult These Inanimate Objects And We'll Tell You How Mature You Are

How mean can you be to a wooden stool?

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  1. Choose an insult to give this cactus.

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    Go away you spikey loser.
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    You can never give or receive affection, and that's probably a good thing.
    Correct
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    You're a prick.
    Correct
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    I can't insult this cactus.
  2. Insult this wooden stool.

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    You're trying so hard to be a chair, it's pathetic.
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    Your wife is probably cheating on you with a stool that has four legs.
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    You'll eventually get mildew.
    Correct
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    I can't insult this wooden stool.
  3. Roast this mug.

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    You're an absolute mug.
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    You think you're hot but you're not. You're lukewarm at best.
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    I bet you don't even know basic maths.
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    I can't insult this mug.
  4. Let this masher know how you really feel.

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    You destroy everything you touch.
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    A fork does the job just as well.
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    The mash you make is subpar at best.
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    I can't insult this masher.
  5. Give this bike all you've got.

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    You're not a car.
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    You're so weak everyone is always taking you for a ride.
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    Your mum is a bike.
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    I can't insult this bike.
  6. Insult this pencil.

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    You're erasable and only used when I can't find a pen.
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    Woah, did you just fart? It sure smells like it.
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    I could break you so easy you lil' shit.
    Correct
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    I can't insult this pencil.
  7. Give this soap an insult.

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    You're filthy.
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    Only my nan uses you.
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    Soap that comes out with a pump is much more sanitary, you're obsolete.
    Correct
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    I can't insult this soap.
  8. Insult this typewriter.

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    Wow, you really are old.
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    You can't sing.
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    You have absolutely no character.
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    I can't insult this typewriter.
  9. Have a go at this violin.

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    You're kind of shrill.
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    The horse pulled off the hair better than you.
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    You'll always be smaller than a cello.
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    I can't insult this violin.
  10. Roast this basketball.

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    You're an absolute air head.
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    You look like Donald Trump.
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    A football is by far the more superior ball.
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    I can't insult this basketball.
  11. Insult this stapler.

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    You're talentless and tacky.
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    You can't even hold your own life together, let alone paper.
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    You're a poor man's hole punch.
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    I can't insult this stapler.
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