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14 Vital Tips That All Bridesmaids Need To Know

All the best advice for avoiding a wedding disaster.

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We asked members of the Buzzfeed Community to give us advice for bridesmaids. Here's what they had to say.

1. Know your responsibilities.

"As a current maid of honour, I'd like to emphasise KNOWING and UNDERSTANDING your responsibilities and what comes with the territory of becoming a bridesmaid. It requires money and time no matter how you slice it. If you're struggling, politely talk with the bridal party to work out compromises. If it ends up being something you can't handle financially, the bride will appreciate the honesty. You truly don't know how stressful planning a wedding can be until you actually do it, and with helping my sister as much as I have, I can tell you the last thing any bride needs is drama from her bridal party!"

—Jacqi Prochaska, Facebook

2. Be resourceful.

"Before you ask the bride that question that she's probably been asked six times already (like, 'What time should we be at the rehearsal?'), maybe reach out to one of the other bridesmaids or any other person in the wedding party. Trust me, it's worth being resourceful than going straight to the woman who is reaching her limit on stupid questions being asked."

—Taylor Nunnally, Facebook

3. Bring snacks.

"If you're a bridesmaid, on the day of the wedding, bring some snacks and booze to wherever the bride is getting ready. I remember my best friend ordered us burgers and fries for the getting ready portion, and those were a lifesaver."

—Erin La Rosa, Facebook

4. Be smart with your money.

"Being a bridesmaid can carry a significant price tag between dress expenses, lodging, showers, pre-wedding parties, etc. Include bridesmaid savings in your budget as early as possible and take your financial situation into account before you say yes. If you can’t afford to be a bridesmaid, figure out another way of showing your friend support through the process that she needs/would appreciate and fits your budget."


5. And know that your other bridesmaids may not be in the same position as you.

"Don't assume that the other bridesmaids can all afford extra perks like a bridal party massage or destination bachelorette party, especially if you're the maid of honour and are doing more of the planning. And never assume that everyone has agreed to split the cost of something. It's easy to say 'Sure, I'll help split the cost of the food at the bridal shower' if you aren't told that it's being personally catered by Mary Berry and the White House pastry chef."

—Samantha Ryan, Facebook

6. Always have safety pins.

"I was the maid of honour at my best friend's wedding earlier this year and what ended up really helping was bringing a few safety pins just in case anyone's dress ripped or was being weird. In the end I did end up using them!"

—Teresa Everich, Facebook

7. Keep the drinks flowing.

"If your bride has an open bar, make sure she has a drink available to her. I don’t know how many times I got stopped by someone to talk and never made it to the bar for a drink, or my drink would disappear while talking to someone. Would have been very helpful to have a bridesmaid keeping an eye out for me!"


8. Try to get on.

"Don’t complain about your fellow bridesmaids to the bride. She picked each of you for a reason. It’s extremely stressful to hear about how much one person you love hates someone else you love. Just deal with it."


9. Communicate with the bride.

"Call and ask how the bride is doing emotionally. A lot of times she doesn’t want to bother people because they are already doing so much, but sometimes brides need to open up about the joys, fear, and anxieties associated with the biggest day of their lives."


10. Get involved.

"Take it seriously (but don’t go overboard, obviously!). You have some jobs to do that help take the pressure off of the bride – do them! Make sure you know what you are doing and where you are going. Do not throw a hissy fit, but you are allowed to voice your opinions. It is all about balance. I have seen many times where the bridesmaids and maid of honour just sit back and go with the flow. Unless the bride says otherwise, get involved."


11. Get to know the other bridesmaids.

"If you don’t already know the other bridesmaids, make an effort to get to know them ASAP! It will make planning things like the bachelorette party so much easier if you meet each other and establish a friendship (even if the friendship is sort of fake and it won’t last past the wedding day)."


12. Be in charge of the phone.

"I had a bridesmaid take over my phone the wedding day and it was the best gift I could’ve received. She texted back and forth with my fiancé to handle some last-minute questions, communicated with any guests that texted questions, and was just on top of shit. The wedding day is crazy regardless, but not having to tote my phone around or answer texts while getting my hair done saved me so much stress!"


13. Be as supportive as possible.

"Remember that it’s a day that means a lot to her/him. That no matter how mean or demanding they are, it’s mainly just their nerves talking. Weddings are extremely stressful for all parties. Everyone wants their opinions heard and as a bridesmaid you will probably get the most heat and tears because you’re there to help. Just breathe and do your best to keep them calm."


14. Keep the bride calm.

"If you’re with a nervous bride and they start to get panicky, get them to sit down and focus on taking some deep breaths. It’ll take them out of fight/flight mode and stop them hyperventilating. Failing that, a quick whisky should do it (just don’t get them smashed)."


Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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