51 Things You Don’t Have To Do

Ever feel like the world is pressuring you do to certain things or be a certain way? Well you don’t have to!

You don’t have to…

2. Watch “30 Rock.”

4. Be a fan of Maggie Gyllenhaal.

You can choose to have no opinion whatsoever.

5. Get an IUD.

Other birth control methods might suit you better, and that’s okay.

7. Separate whites and colors.

8. Hand-wash your bras.

9. Diet after New Year’s.

Well, maybe unless it’s this diet, which almost sounds fun.

10. Diet for bathing suit season.

12. Take a couple months off after college to “backpack.”

13. Get wasted just because it’s Friday night.

14. Go to Vegas.

Especially if it’s just for the elevator self-portraits.

15. Have “Teams.”

17. Keep living in a city when you have kids.

18. Like Taylor Swift.

20. Avoid fruit juice.

Yes, it has calories and sugar but is also delicious and nutritious!

21. Make your own cutoffs.

22. Act like food is better because it came from a trailer.

23. Be nostalgic for a recent past decade.

24. Read all of the “New Yorker” every week.

Even the girl who writes a blog about reading The New Yorker doesn’t recommend reading all of it every week.

25. Shun girlie drinks.

They’re delicious! Pink is fun! Etc.

26. Sightsee on vacation.

27. Visit museums.

That’s what the internet is for — to save us from wandering around too-air conditioned buildings to see stuff like this.

28. Enjoy the beach.

30. Order sushi with brown rice.

31. Order egg whites for your omelette.

32. Ski.

Too many show-offs.

33. Hate Uggs.

They are useful in the snow.

34. Bother cooking something when you’re eating alone.

35. Pierce something other than your earlobes.

36. “Get” art.

37. Drive cross-country.

This is all you see for days. Why bother?

39. Drink Pinot Grigio.

40. Order salad dressing on the side.

41. Buy expensive gym clothes.

Like Lululemon.

42. Straighten your hair.

43. Have sex with more than one person at once.

44. Have sex in an unconventional location.

45. Act like bottled waters taste different.

46. Pay more for artisinal anything.

Like soap with leaves in it.

47. Only buy organic produce.

48. Pay a lot for a handbag.

49. Tell stories about how drunk you got that one time.

50. Get an iPhone.

What’s that in Rihanna’s hand? A white BlackBerry Bold.

51. Wear heels.


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