We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the cringiest sexts they've ever received. You better read these from behind your hands.
1. The professional endorsement sext.
"I had blocked my ex from all social media and text so he looked me up on LinkedIn to tell me he wanted to formally endorse my 'sexual prowess' and asked me if I’d add blowjobs as a skill to my profile."
2. The sacrificial sext.
"A guy on Tinder said he wanted to cover himself in chocolate so I’d lick it off him. I told him I preferred Nutella and his response was, 'I’m allergic to nuts but I’ll go into anaphylactic shock and die for you.' Needless to say I stopped responding after that."
3. The Shakespeare sext.
"'Suck thy flesh zoo,' accompanied by an unsolicited, flaccid dick pic."
4. The birthday breakfast sext.
"It was my birthday. This guy popped up in my Facebook Messenger, wished me a happy birthday, and offered me a gift. He said he'd give me two coupons: 'The first is one session of eating pancakes off my naked lap while my thing pre-cums maple syrup. The second is one session of me eating pancakes off your thighs with you filled up with maple syrup, all I have to do is eat out.' Six years later it still makes me cringe."
5. The no-incest sext.
"I gave a guy my number and he’d tell me things like, 'You looked nice today.' He then told me he was into me because I looked just like his cousin. He followed that one up with, 'No incest or anything lol.'"
– vagooba
6. The lunch replacement sext.
"A guy messaged me on Tinder saying hello and asking what I was doing. I told him I was about to go to lunch and have clam chowder. He said, 'I’d love to chow down on your clam.'"
7. The tailor sext.
"'What are you wearing right now?'
'A onesie.'
'Why don’t we make it a nonesie?'"
8. The 0–100 sext.
"After only one date this guy called me, pressuring me to see him again. After saying no, he messaged me asking if I wanted to cuddle naked in a cubbyhole at a sex dungeon in LA. Needless to say I never spoke to him again."
9. The untimely sext.
"My grandfather had just passed away. His idea of cheering me up? Sending me a picture of the 11-inch strap-on he wanted to use on me."
10. The sandwich pun sext.
"I was in a casual conversation with this guy and I said, 'Wow I really want Jimmy John's' (it’s my favourite sandwich place), and he replied with, 'You can Jimmy my John.'"
11. The winter wardrobe sext.
"A Tinder guy said to me, 'Since it’s getting cold in these winter months, do you mind if I use your thighs as earmuffs?' I did not reply."
12. The patriotic sext.
"I once got a Snapchat from a guy I went to boarding school with on the 4th of July of his dick painted like an American flag. He captioned it, 'It’s a flag and a pole!' That one was pretty distressing."
– jess0117
13. The zero-correlation sext.
"He said I had a nice fanny and then proceeded to send me a picture of Fran Drescher. To this day I still don’t understand the correlation."
14. The concerned sext.
"After a really awkward, unsuccessful date, this guy texted me, 'If you ever find yourself lying awake at night trying not to touch yourself, you have my number.' Buddy, I am perfectly capable of touching myself, you don’t have to worry."
15. The polite and promising sext.
"A guy messaged me on Tinder saying, 'As long as I have a face, you’ll always have a seat' then got upset because I didn’t reply so he deleted his account."
16. The accidental sext.
"I was once accidentally sexted a picture of a flaccid penis, covered in what I will assume was butter, with the words, 'Are you ready for me?' I was not ready."
17. The introductory sext.
"A guy sent me a dick pic on Snapchat where he'd drawn an actual person on his penis and captioned it, 'He can’t wait to meet you.' He never did meet me."
18. The constantly ill sext.
"A guy sent me a message on a dating site that said, 'You have a cute smile! I just had a thermometer up my butt :('. A few months later I deactivated my account and signed up to another site. I got the exact same message from the same guy. Fast-forward about a year and I reactivated my account on the first dating site. Within six hours, I received a message from the same guy that said, 'I just had a thermometer up my butt :('. I guess he wasn’t having much luck and telling guys they had cute smiles seemed more like the problematic line."
– joeyl14
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.