14 Unrealistic Things That Happen In Every Gay Or Lesbian Porno

What's with the long fingernails and no lube?

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community what things happen in every gay porno that really infuriate them. It's fair to say they had some strong opinions...

1. The dry hump.

Via dangeros.tumblr.com

I hate how in gay porn they never use lube. Like, wtf is spit gonna do?"

—michaelarias

2. The death of every vagina.

"Woman on woman sex with mega long fingernails. RIP VAGINA."

–Chloé, Facebook

3. The mythical position.

MTV

"One word: scissoring. I'd love to know who invented this."

—limegreentangerine

4. The double jackpot.

TBS

"How two guys always seem to shoot together when in all my experiences, we've never climaxed at the exact same moment like they do in porn."

—benjamint470c5e8f3

5. The wrong audience.

CBS Films

"Lesbians in porn are just so unrealistic. The way they're portrayed and dressed, it's so obviously aimed at men and men only, it's so frustrating."

—Anonymous

6. The apparently unaware third party.

Via burningjellyfishinternet.tumblr.com

"I hate the videos where guys are going at it in a communal area and then someone else walks in (usually a girlfriend or the mum) and they have a full on conversation while getting plowed/blown/rimmed and the other party doesn't notice that their significant other/son is having sex right in front of them, actually bobbing up and down or rocking back and forth from the respective actions."

–Ricardo, Facebook

7. The 'bisexual' threesome.

Str8 To Gay / Via itsnotpornipromise.tumblr.com

"Why does it always have to be a threesome between two straight people and one bi person who often denies being bi?"

—erikaslater452

8. The need for something phallic.

Netflix

"The way that lesbian porn almost always involves toys. Sure, sometimes women who have sex with women enjoy sex toys, but implying that women need something phallic for a satisfying experience is a major eye roll."

–Anna, Facebook

9. The male gaze and unrealistic expectations.

Netflix

"The majority of lesbian porn is made for the male gaze, making it cringe-worthy and unrealistic. I mean those long ass fingernails? *wince* As for gay porn, well the ones that show men going at it with no lube or prep whatsoever are presenting a really unrealistic portrayal of how anal sex works. You cannot just go at it, you need prep and you definitely need lube."

—ravenbard

10. The racial stereotypes.

VH1

"The stereotypical roles reserved for black guys – thug, convict, gangster. Also, black guys don't always have to be the top in interracial settings."

–Taopheeq, Facebook

11. The OTT orgasm.

WWE

"In reality, lesbians don't particularly go for the typical straight people positions, like doggy style. And when it comes to porn in general, either learn how to fake moan realistically or please be quiet."

—charlotteaquilina051

12. The family bond.

Via giphy.com

"The weird, sometimes incestuous, tones of some of them, like those ones involving getting with an uncle or cousin. It's still family."

—adamdonnomnom

13. The award nomination snubs.

HBO

"The fact that performers of colour are generally snubbed at award events. I have a friend in the adult industry, and he's a very skilled latino bottom performer, but he consistently gets looked over for nominations in categories where every other popular white guy is included."

–Jordan, Facebook

14. The penis lengthening ads.

E4

"Lesbian porn in its entirety. It always looks like it's been written/directed by someone who isn't a woman that's experienced sex with a woman. The penis lengthening ads surrounding the video are a pretty solid indicator that it's not actually intended for women to watch. Ugh."

—chchchchanges

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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