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    37 Valentine's Day Gifts That'll Put Their Ex To Shame

    Love isn't a competition, but gift giving sure as hell is.

    1. A pair of heated narwhal slippers they'll whale-y love.

    2. A hand-poured soy candle that celebrates what's important in a relationship.

    3. An inner tube shaped like a diamond ring to make them say "I do! Want to go swimming with you."

    4. A fill-in book detailing why they're so good looking (not that you have to remind them).

    5. A neon light that speaks the language of love — when love means hating all the same things as someone else.

    6. A funny coloring book that puts your love bluntly.

    7. A pair of Bluetooth headphones so they can listen to their real gift: a song you wrote them! Wow, you're so talented.

    8. A jelly lipstick with a flower inside that beats a bouquet any time.

    9. A pack of Carolina Reapers (the hottest peppers in the world) to spice up your Valentine's Day — literally.

    10. A guided journal dedicated to self-improvement with the help of scratch-off pages.

    11. And a book of love lotto tickets to keep the scratch-off fun coming.

    12. A nostalgic candle that smells like their home state to ease their homesickness.

    13. A heart projector to take mood lighting to a new level by turning your room into a Valentine's Day card.

    14. A wine subscription service that will please even the pickiest people.

    15. A sweatshirt to give to the person in your life you'd never consider a manic pixie dream girl.

    16. A pair of lamps perfect for long distance couples. When you touch one, they both light up, so your SO knows you're thinking of them.

    17. A fancy pet collar so *everyone* can get dressed up for a special night.

    18. Elephant salt and pepper shakers that fit together almost as well as you and your SO.

    19. A little book filled with interesting sex facts so your partner can be a nerd both on the streets and in the sheets.

    20. A beer making kit that will have them hopping with joy.

    21. A set of hot chocolate sticks. One sip and they'll never go back to Swiss Miss again.

    22. A coffee table book dedicated to Wes Anderson so you'll have some colorful background information before movie night.

    23. A pack of bath bombs, because the best gift is an experience and this is basically 12 experiences.

    24. Or, for someone a little less sentimental, a set of bath bombs with secret, sweary messages inside.

    25. And a bath caddy with plenty of room for candles, snacks, and a book, so they can really enjoy their time in the bathroom.

    26. Nick Offerman's Paddle Your Own Canoe — a look into the life of the real Ron Swanson. It turns out, TV and reality aren't that distant.

    27. A multi-use skillet with room to cook a bunch of food at once, so you don't even have to wake up that early to surprise your SO with breakfast.

    28. Sexy underwear for a gift that can be enjoyed by both parties.

    29. Birchbox — the perfect subscription service for both beauty veterans and newbies looking to dip their toe in.

    30. A set of animal sheet masks for having a nice spa day that feels like a trip to the zoo.

    31. A beer slushie maker, so drinking beer in the summer can be even more refreshing.

    32. A luxurious robe to make getting out of bed almost doable. They'll thank you every morning.

    33. An out-of-this-world necklace featuring planets and space ships from Star Wars.

    34. A set of socks so they can be as well dressed as the animals on their feet.

    35. A bouquet of Columbus salami that will make any carnivore swoon.

    36. A fancy gilded carafe to make even the simplest cocktail feel luxurious.

    37. And a fancy bento box from MeUndies and Sugarfina filled with two cubes of rosé gummy bears. It also has two slots to fit matching underwear.

    You're going to nail it this year.

    Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides here!