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1. A rice cooker because think about it — cooking rice is the woooorst. Think about all the times you accidentally burnt the rice and had to scrape the brown failure off the bottom of the pot. Stop doing that. Just have a robot make it perfectly every time.
2. And in the same vein, an egg cooker. Stop settling for overcooked hardboiled eggs with gross grey yolks. You deserve better.
3. A long-lasting sponge you can use for legit MONTHS without any gross mildew smell. Seriously punt your stinky sponges into the trash and grab these.
4. A Tubshroom so you can stop wasting so much money on Drano and plumber bills. Just catch the hair before it goes down, genius.
5. An external charger, because you don't want to end up asking the bartender to charge your phone and then be without your precious screen for god knows how long. Nightmare averted.
6. An avocado tool that looks silly, but I promise you will save you a trip to the ER when your knife slips during the de-pitting stage. Get that sweet avocado meat out of its skin while keeping your blood in your skin.
7. A lead tester to give you some peace of mind, which is honestly priceless.
8. A cellphone holder that clips to your car's air vent and keeps your make-shift GPS at eye-level. It's so easy and helpful, you'll be kicking yourself for not getting it sooner.
9. A produce cleaning spray, because washing an apple with just water doesn't feel like enough and using actual soap feels...wrong.
10. A grout pen that covers up your disgracefully dirty tiles and makes it look like you cleaned. It's honestly the least you can do.
11. A bottle of squalane oil to make your skin so luxuriously soft and bouncy, you'll slam dunk all your other creams in the trash.
12. A shredder so you can properly dispose of your sensitive documents. You don't want to end up getting buried in an avalanche of bills, bank statements, and credit reports.
13. A fire extinguisher you absolutely need once you start cooking for real. Please, please get one before you burn the house down.
14. An electric bottle opener so much easier to use than a regular one, you'll realize you've been living in the Dark Ages this whole time.
15. A curved brush that tackles tough knots without pulling or tearing, making your old brush look like a real jerk.
16. A steamer for breathing (like a mini little dragon) new life into your wrinkly sweaters that were lodged in the back of your closet.
17. A microchip pet door so your dog can come and go without bringing home any unexpected friends. Y'know, like a raccoon or your neighbor's cat who bites.
18. A makeup brush shampoo — PLEASE stop putting that germy thing on your delicate face. Your dermatologist is crying rn.
19. And while we're talking about your makeup, how about a spinning beauty organizer so you can actually see some counter space?
20. A bottle and jar opener that will save you so much time and effort, you'll regret every minute of you life spent without it. Plus, it's shaped like a duck so you'll actually be motivated to get it.
21. A set of Target Threshold sheets so affordable and comfortable, I lay awake at night worrying about all the people who don't own a set.
22. A three-in-one lens kit for your phone so effective, it may finally kickstart your dream of becoming a photographer. You know, the dream you've had since you started reading this?
23. Citronella soap that will make you smell good to humans but terrible to mosquitos, which is what most people want, I assume.
24. A fancy kettle you can proudly display on your stove, boldly declaring to your guests, "I don't microwave water."
25. Expandable dividers to bring order to your clutter, whether it be in your drawers, shelves, or cabinets. Quite frankly, the time you waste sifting through your kitchen drawers is making us all upset.
26. A pack of pimple patches that make quick work of your angry, throbbing zits. Plus when they're covered up you can't pick at them.
27. An air purifying bag to help finally rid your home or car or wherever of that gross smell. There, now you can have guests again; you're welcome.
28. Laundry balls that will fluff up your wet clothes, letting them dry faster and with less static. Adults have these...do you want to be an adult? Buy the balls.
Want to go on a full-on practical product shopping spree? Check out these posts:
29 Easy-To-Use Products That'll Make It Seem Like You Have Skills
26 Things That'll Help You Set It And Forget It In Every Aspect Of Your Life
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