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1. A legit tent so you can hide like a little hermit crab until it's time to go home to AC and shade.
2. A pair of oversized sunglasses to cover like half of your face. You'll look cool and your face will be partially protected from evil rays of sun that just want to hurt you.
3. A tube of Jack Black SPF 25 lip balm with green tea and vitamin E for soft and safe lips.
4. A swimsuit with three-quarter sleeves and a zippered neckline to keep your delicate shoulders and back safe from the dreaded sun.
5. Or a two-piece option so you actually stand a chance at peeing in a stall.
6. A hypoallergenic mineral sunscreen made for sensitive skin. It's non-greasy and water-resistant for up to 80 minutes.
7. A classic floppy hat that screams vacation and sun safety at equal volumes.
8. Or what appears to be the biggest, floppiest hat known to man. Just in case you're serious about hiding from the sun.
9. A beach blanket with UPF protection so you can wrap yourself up like ET and wait for someone to bike you somewhere shady.
10. A hilarious-but-useful umbrella hat good for avoiding sunburns and for embarrassing anyone who knows you.
11. A sheer maxi cover-up so everyone can still see your amazing swimsuit, even when you're trying to layer up.
12. A Supergoop! Glow Stick you can easily apply to your face so you can get back to your intense game of beach volleyball in record time.
13. An umbrella tent — the perfect blend of shade-giving products to give you shelter when you're not swimming.
14. A long-sleeve cover-up so you can bring that business casual look to the beach.
15. Or a dramatically long maxi for a "just rolled out of my luxurious California king bed with silk sheets" look.
16. A rainbow striped jelly visor so you can pull the brim aaalll the way down and still be able to see.
17. A Speedo UPF swim tee because it turns out just wearing a regular shirt isn't always enough protection. The sun is THAT tenacious!
18. A fold-out canopy chair so you can relax and stop stressing about where you're sitting. The shade comes attached!
19. A fishing hat you might as well utilize even when you're not fishing. It's not like the sun can tell the difference.
20. And a sunless tanner if you want to look like you got a tan even if you were just hiding in the shade the whole time.
Remember: Sunscreen goes ON the body, not IN it!
Looking for more great Amazon finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.
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