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    Meet Larry David's Beautiful Spawn, Cazzie David

    Allow me to introduce you to Larry David's precious offspring.

    Hello. I love Larry David. I probably love Larry more than I love any of my immediate family members, and I definitely love him more I love than any of my extended family members.

    Andrew Toth

    Pictured: Larry pointing upwards, trying to convince the audience to elevate their everyday small talk to medium talk.

    This post isn't about Larry as much as it's about the oldest of his two children, Cazzie. Cazzie is Larry's first-born, and she's more than just LARRY DAVID'S DAUGHTER, as if that isn't enough.

    I'd pay a lot of money ($3.46) to be Larry David's child for the day.

    What? No, that is not how much is in my savings right now, how dare you?

    Here is Cazzie, looking better than you while having a cooler father than you, all at the same time:

    Larry right after he saw that scandalous Instagram of his daughter:

    Andrew Toth


    Anyhoo, Cazzie wrote and starred in a 4-episode web series that debuted via Complex, titled "EIGHTY-SIXED." / Via YouTube

    In "EIGHTY-SIXED," Cazzie plays Remi, a neurotic, fickle, and Instagram obsessed millennial trying to navigate her social media presence post-breakup.

    HBO / Via

    In an interview with Refinery 29, Cazzie says, ""The tone is somewhat realistic. It’s all from Remi’s hypersensitive perspective where she only hears the absolute worst, and if she doesn’t hear it, she imagines it."

    Just like Larry...

    Do you think she was imagining the worst in this photo of her drinking from a coconut on the beach?

    Oh, and Cazzie is currently dating comedian and SNL heavyweight Pete Davidson.

    If they have a baby, it'll have Pete Davidson's, Cazzie David's, AND Larry David's DNA.

    What the fuck?

    You can watch episode one of "EIGHTY-SIXED" here:

    View this video on YouTube

    Cazzie, if you're reading this, please call me, and have your dad on the line, too. Cool? Cool.

    Noel Vasquez / Getty Images

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