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If You Were The Laziest Person In Your High School, These 33 Truths Will Speak To Your Soul

Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow.

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1. Wearing the same outfit as the day before because you fell asleep and forgot to do your laundry.

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2. Moving from one class to another (even if they're directly next to each other) requires otherworldly willpower.

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3. Ideal transport:


4. Putting a pair of dirty sweatpants that have been sitting in your gym locker for three months over your jeans.

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5. The inside of your backpack always looked like this.

my backpack is so messy oh my god

6. This was never a bumper sticker on your mom's car...

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7. ...instead, this was.

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8. The teacher asks everybody to split into groups, but nobody wants to work with you because they're familiar with your ways.

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9. And if they do pick you, this is your group project mentality.

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10. You texted this to multiple people every single day five minutes before the first bell rang...

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11. ...and when they said no, you wielded a sharpened Ticonderoga pencil and told them they better watch out.

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12. Sparknotes, while lifesaving during times of ultimate distress, was still a bit too wordy and complicated for your overworked brain.

Austin Gebbia

13. On rare occasions, the teacher would tell you that you were allowed to bring an index card cheat sheet to the test...but you still actively chose not to make one.

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14. Welp, it's picture day, the worst day of the year. The photographer asked you to smile, but that would require contorting your otherwise unmoved facial muscles.

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15. You never knew where your locker was, nor did you know the combination to unlock it.

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16. This was your lunchbox.

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17. This is the "lunch" you pulled out of the aforementioned "lunchbox."

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18. Your senior year yearbook quote was something like this guy's.

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19. You answered test questions like this...

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20. ...and like this.

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21. Time to run the mile!

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22. Minute 23 of the mile and you're still on the first lap, meanwhile, everybody else is finished, sitting on the turf and hydrating.

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23. You tried to survive tests with a broken pencil because the sharpener was on the other side of the room. (I sometimes even ripped the graphite out and held its tiny physique in my fingers—no, it doesn't work.)

24. You took your SATs with a chode-pencil, because who can muster up the vivaciousness required to buy another one? Not you, ya lazy-ass.

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25. TEACHER: stay after class! It'll improve your grades—you're in jeopardy of failing the course. ME:

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26. You asked your date to prom in a completely underwhelming and sluggish way.

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27. What your powerpoint presentations looked like.

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28. The way your hand would quiver in agony after taking notes by hand on a ripped piece of college-ruled looseleaf:

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29. *Studies one vocabulary word from 5th grade that you already knew the definition of*

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30. Basic math was enough of a trigger to send your brain into a frenzy of utter disarray.

Austin Gebbia


32. The way your teacher and you would look at each other as they go around the class collecting last night's homework.

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33. And finally, when people ask what your post-high school plans are.

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