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    23 Things People Really, Really Want You To Stop Doing At Your Wedding

    "I think we should end the father walking the bride down the aisle and handing her over to the next 'owner' like a prize cow."

    We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the wedding traditions they think should be retired, and their answers were almost too honest:


    1. "I think we should retire the father walking the bride down the aisle and handing her over to the next 'owner' like a prize cow. This is not a tradition in the country I live in — where the bride and groom walk down the aisle together — but because of the influence of American TV and movies, more and more women think it's 'romantic' to be treated like a commodity."

    "I hope that 'tradition' never gets established here in the first place."


    "The idea that your father has to walk you down the aisle. Not everyone has a father or wants to do that. If you want to, go ahead! But don’t make it seem like a bad decision if people don’t.

    Also, let’s normalize the idea that it doesn’t have to be a male person who walks the bride. Want your mom? Grandma? Both parents? No one? All that should be fine."


    Father of the Bride walking daughter down the aisle
    Buena Vista

    2. "I hate the tradition where the groom is not allowed to see the bride in her wedding dress. That's bullshit — maybe the bride wants her fiancé's support or opinion when choosing the dress!"


    3. "Definitely the bouquet toss. Most single women spend the entire reception being asked when they will get married. The last thing we need is to be 'singled out' in front of everyone like that. It's awkward and embarrassing."


    "Ugh, forcing all the single women up in front of everyone to fight over the bouquet? Yuck."


    "The bouquet toss had been horribly embarrassing for me once, so when I got married, I gave my bouquet to my grandmother because she had been married the longest."



    4. "Wedding favors should be retired. People either don't even take them, take them and throw them away, or stick them in a closet somewhere and donate to Goodwill."


    5. "Having a wedding party. Playing a social hierarchy game of selection for the 'privilege' of paying for an uncomfortable outfit and being someone's unpaid assistant is outdated. I didn't have a wedding party, and I would never be in one again either!"


    "Bridesmaids and groomsmen are such a pointless tradition. Why do a few of your friends need to be standing next to you wearing matching outfits? And why are we forced to go to like three different events before the actual wedding? How many times do we have to celebrate this union?!"


    "Although I wanted to be a bridesmaid in my early to mid-20s, the stress and expenses of my friends who were bridesmaids changed my mind. Also, I feel that the tradition causes drama because people are offended if they aren’t asked to be in the wedding."


    Bridesmaids singing in a pool
    Universal Pictures

    6. "People who smash the cake on each other's faces. It just smacks of forced's the worst."


    7. "The 'no wearing white to weddings' rule. I'm going to wear the most beautiful wedding dress in the world to my cousin's wedding!"


    Bride saying: "Show up in white, and you're dead to me!"

    8. "This might be an unpopular answer, but dancing, especially the 'first dance,' where everyone just stares at you two. If I ever get married, I won't do that."


    9. "The white dress. It has no meaning. Wear whatever color you look best in!"


    "I hate the white dress in traditional weddings. It's meant to symbolize 'purity,' meaning virginity, and it makes me cringe."


    photo of woman in a purple dress
    Bogdan Mihail Negoita / Getty Images/EyeEm

    10. "By all means, do what you want to do for your wedding, but don't ask me for money. In southern Ontario, you have a 'fundraiser' called a 'stag and doe,' where even people you aren't inviting to your wedding are expected to buy tickets and pay for games or other items in order to help pay for it. And nowadays, most couples don't want gifts, they want money! If you can't afford your wedding, go to the courthouse."


    11. "When the wedding party does a grand entrance into the reception, especially when they dance! It's always awkward, I hate watching it, and I hate being a part of it!"



    12. "Brides having to have a maid of honor and grooms having a best man. Why can't a bride have a 'man of honor' and a groom have a 'best woman?'"


    13. "The entire wedding itself! Weddings are a colossal waste of money, and no one actually likes attending them, and almost 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway. So you might as well take that money you were going to spend on a wedding and put it toward an awesome honeymoon — or better yet, keep it in your savings account!"



    14. "I'm not a big fan of designating the bride's 'side' and the groom's 'side' during the ceremony."


    15. "Bridesmaids having the same exact dress. I don't mind the same color, but not the same style! Not everyone has the same body type and may not feel comfortable in certain styles or lengths."


    Warner Bros.

    16. "Unity candles. They get blown out anyway, so what is it really representing?"


    17. "I don't know how it started, but I don't like the utter entitlement that some brides have that it's their day, and that everyone should bow down to their every instruction and request, no matter how ludicrous it is!"

    "I just saw a post where the bride actually wanted to vet the outfit of each and every one of her guests!"


    Bride screaming: "it's my day!"
    20th Century Fox

    18. "Sending a gift even if you don't attend — like, where's my birthday gift for every party you missed and didn't give me anything for?"


    19. "The father/daughter and mother/son dances, for sure. They feel misogynistic and patriarchal to me. I would have loved to do something like a ukulele duet with my dad instead!"



    20. "I hate the pressure that comes with trying to make a wedding absolutely perfect! Just having the people you love and some nice, affordable decor is really all you need!"

    "Brides that want gigantic weddings just because they want a picture-perfect wedding seem to miss the point of a wedding entirely."


    21. "Open bars need to go! I feel like a bottle of wine at the table or one or two drink tickets is good enough."


    New Line Cinema

    22. "Having the bride's family pay for everything."


    And finally:

    23. "Nothing needs to be 'retired.' The two people getting married should be free to follow whatever traditions they want to...or no traditions at all!"


    "Yes, there are some cringeworthy aspects to some weddings. But the wedding isn’t about what you want to see. It’s about what the couple chooses to celebrate. So you should just be there as a supportive attendee and not to dictate or judge.  Honestly, just be there to support and shut up."



    Now it's your turn to tell us about a time when a popular wedding tradition went totally and completely WRONG! Tell us — or show us! — your wedding tradition horror stories in the comments section, and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!

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