19 People Got Brutally Honest About What Having Kids Did To Their Relationships

"Our sex life now is a lot like drinking my morning coffee — we either do it super fast or it goes cold and untouched."

We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us how their relationship changed after having kids, and the responses were hilarious, moving, and totally real:

1. "Our sex life now is a lot like drinking my morning coffee — we either do it super fast or it goes cold and untouched."

CBS

—johannal417755318

2. "We express how much we love each other differently now — by emptying the dishwasher or watching the kids while the other person sleeps in."

ABC

"And at the very least, we try to at least make out if there’s not time or energy for much else."

—laurenelizabethmarieh

3. "Marriage hasn't always been easy. Having kids gave us an extra reason to keep going when we felt like giving up on each other."

Fox

"If we didn’t have kids, we would’ve called it quits long ago. The kids bring out a strength in the two of you that you never knew you had." —abbyw43f527110

"It's much easier now to overlook the little annoyances and focus on the wonderful parts of our family." —melissab56

4. "When our kid is away for the night, we have grand plans of getting dressed up, going out to dinner, and having great sex on the living room floor. But we usually end up putting on comfy clothes, ordering Thai to-go, and dozing off on the couch by 10 p.m."

Spike TV

—ashleyl31

5. "My husband comes home excited to see our little princess now instead of me."

TvLand

—salazarrosa192

6. "A 'night out' has become going to Ikea without the kids. It's fantastic!"

Vh1

—barbaras4cf94437c

7. "I went through a rough patch postpartum, and my husband really stepped up. When I needed a nap, help with the housework, or just for him to take our daughter so I could have a few hours to myself, he was there. He was so selfless after our daughter was born that it blew my mind — our daughter brought the best of his character out."

TvLand

—bauxjangles

"We rely on each other so much more than before. And the infatuation and passion from before kids gives way to deep lasting love that lasts." —sarafifielda

8. "We've become masters of the quickie — as in 'quick, get it done before the kids knock!'"

Yahoo

—daunejaimesd

"Who has the time to spend hours in bed with outfits and toys? Quick and efficient morning sessions before our kids wake up is our jam." —machouse150

9. "Having kids has bonded us stronger than we ever imagined it would. We actually fight less now than before the kids."

ABC

—jessieelsons

10. "We went from calling each other 'Babe' to calling each other 'Mom' and 'Dad.'"

TNT

—euhegiap

11. "When we got home from the hospital with our newborn twins, my husband was no longer my main priority. I went from everything revolving around him to being a first-time mom of two who didn't even have time to shower. Ultimately, he left, and I know that it was because he couldn't handle not being my number one focus anymore."

Bravo

"We both love our children very much and are getting better at co-parenting, but it’s been a challenge. Still, I'll always be grateful for those tiny 4-pound babies — they changed my life for the better and continue to do so."

—krystinas48f5108c2

12. "We had to invent what we call 'serial dating' because it's hard for us to get a babysitter. So one of us goes to a movie the first night alone, then the other parent goes the next night. Then we talk about the movie together."

CBS

—cynthiav4cdc20f0e

13. "We used to be fiery, but now we are peaceful. And I think that's better."

TvLand

"Our son has brought a light into our marriage that I didn't know was missing."

—adrianajaec

14. "We actually have sex every day, sometimes multiple times a day. Even if that means staying up super late after we've gotten other things done. It's all in how you make it work."

CW

"We figure our girls will grow up and have their own lives so we need to continue to build our relationship up as well. Show your kids how marriage or partnership can and should be — both equal, giving and taking."

—katiefrancisco0312

15. "Date night is me constantly checking the time to see if it's time to pick up the kids."

CBC

—jennasc23

16. "Having a child made me fall out of love with her dad completely. I had postpartum depression, and he was demanding as much from me as my newborn daughter was! All I had to give I gave to my daughter, and I just didn't have enough for them both."

Bravo

—kirbyb4b53bc4d1

17. "Our quality time usually entails sitting on separate couches watching the same movie because our needy toddler doesn't want anyone else to touch me, but we still find the humor in life together."

TvLand

—d4ea205bf0

18. "He's still my best friend. We're still completely attracted to one another. We're still completely in love. I'm not sure our relationship has changed — just grown."

Fox

—schulzemary214

19. "Well, we certainly never talked about poop as much as we do now."

TvLand

—maryd4276db8e7

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Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.