23 True Confessions From Married Women That'll Make You Say, "Just Whoa."
To have and to withhold?
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the secret they'd never tell their husband or partner, and the responses range from the 'omg' to the 'O.M.F.G.':
1. "When we were first dating, I drunk texted my (now) husband asking him to come over for a booty call. Before he could respond, I texted 'nevermind.' To this day, he says that moment of 'playing hard to get' was the moment he knew I was the one he wanted to be with. But he doesn't know that I said 'nevermind' because I had actually sent the same text to two other guys, and another one replied first."
2. "That his favorite meal that I cook...is from the restaurant down the street."
Fox
3. "That I hate my engagement and wedding rings."
CBC
"He put so much effort into designing them, and even incorporated my lucky numbers, but I just can't stand them."
4. "My husband doesn't know that I actually watch porn and masturbate more often than he does — sometimes even right next to him while he sleeps!"
Universal Pictures
—Anonymous
5. "That I once faked a family emergency and instead went to Dairy Queen to get ice cream and hide from the kids."
Vh1
6. "When my husband and I have a fight and aren't speaking, I secretly turn off the wifi so that he is forced to come downstairs and talk to me."
Open Road Films
8. "That it doesn't really hurt to keep sex going after I orgasm like I tell him it does...I'm just over it by that point."
Fox
9. "That I keep a list of the hilarious things he says in his sleep."
Fox
"My favorite is 'If I make the first smearing, it will be weird, because it was made for a woman.'"
—Anonymous
10. "I once hired a cleaning crew to clean our house and took the credit for it."
Fox
—Anonymous
11. "Sometimes I put on makeup, do my hair, and get dressed, and then watch ASMR videos of men eating and pretend I'm on a date."
NBC
12. "I'm the one who changes the sheets, and I almost always put the cheaper pillowcases on my husband's pillows, while I get the luxurious ones."
ABC
13. "That I pluck my nose hair."
CBS
14. "How many people I actually slept with before him."
NBC
15. "My husband is very irresponsible with money, so when we need to save for something, I lie and tell him we have less than we actually do, so that he doesn't know the money is there to spend."
BBC
16. "When my in-laws come into town, I pretend I have to go into the office, so I don't have to see them."
CBS
17. "Sometimes I call him and tell him my texts aren't sending, just to have an excuse to hear his voice."
MTV
18. "Sometimes I buy an Amazon gift card from the grocery store so that the money I spend counts towards groceries, even though I use it to buy music or clothes."
TvLand
19. "My husband thinks I'm a much heavier sleeper than I am. If the dog gets restless in the middle of the night, I lie perfectly still until he gets up to take her outside, then I pretend in the morning that I didn't hear her."
Netflix
20. "That when we first met, I only slept with him to help my best friend get closer to his brother. But hey — we ended up together!"
OWN
21. "That I'm a ghostwriter for a famous newspaper columnist."
Universal
22. "We went on a vegan diet together and he was really committed. But I always cheated on my lunch break and told him I ate a salad."
Paramount Studios
23. "One day, my husband came home in a terrible mood, looking for his leftover pizza. But I had thrown it out already earlier in the day. So I waited until he went out to walk the dog, then I took it out of the trash and put it on a plate for him. He ate every bite."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.