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21 Married Women Share What They Wish They Could Tell Their Single Friends

"Checking with my husband before making plans with you is not a control thing, it's a respect thing."

We recently had our single readers tell us what they want their married friends to know. Well, turns out our married readers have a few things they want to tell their single friends, too:

1. "If I vent to you about my spouse, I'm just trying to get things off my chest. I don't need you to bash him, question why I'm with him, say I can do better, or suggest a divorce. Sometimes we just get on each other's nerves."

—Jacki Demchak, Facebook

2. "If you tell me a secret, I'm absolutely telling my spouse. He won't tell anyone or judge you — and honestly, he probably won't even remember I told him — but he's going to hear it."


3. "I still want to hear about your Tinder matches, first dates, and one night stands. I care about what's happening in your life, no matter how different it is from mine."

4. "Just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm 'done.' I still have goals."


5. "When I say I have to check with my husband before agreeing to plans with you, I'm not 'asking his permission.' My marriage consists of trust and communication, and I would expect the same from him if the situation was reversed."


"It's not a control thing. It's a respect thing."


6. "Marriage doesn't guarantee 100% of the understanding and emotional support we need. We still need our friends."

7. "Just because we're married doesn't mean we want to have kids. So please stop asking us when we're going to."


8. "You don't have to get married. Some people make the choice to do so, and some don't — and either way is totally fine."


"And there's no rush. You shouldn't feel pressure to get married just because some people in your life did. When you find the right person, you’ll be really glad you didn’t settle for anything less."


9. "Feel free to call me out when I say 'my husband' over and over instead of using his name. I swear I don't do it on purpose, and I know it's annoying."

10. "Please stop bringing your one-night stands around. If we hit it off but you two don't, I'll be torn."


11. "Sometimes I'm insanely jealous of your independence, clean home, and alone time. At times, taking care of a husband, a child, and myself drives me insane, and I envy you for getting to sit down on a quiet couch at the end of the night with your cat."


12. "Yes, I know my husband's weird. I am, too! We like being weird together. It's our 'love language!'"

13. "I love you, but I love my husband more. And he will ultimately come first."


14. "If you invite me to hang out spur of the moment, and I say I already have plans with my husband, DON'T try to guilt me by saying that I see him all the time. When you have kids, date nights are rare and cherished."


15. "That getting married didn't change who we are. We're both still ourselves — we're just more legally bound to each other!"

16. "The single people in my life think I have it all and that they're somehow missing out on this great adventure. I always stress to them that they should focus on themselves while they can, because everything after marriage is a joint venture. 'Do you' big while you can!"


17. "Feel free to sit between us at social events. Just because we are married doesn't mean we can't ever be apart. Plus, it's not like I won't have a good eight hours sleeping next to him!"


18. "I still want to hang out and I won't always bring my husband. We can still have girls' nights!"

19. "Marriage doesn't always mean more sex, just that now when we do it, it's more meaningful for us. Don't think we are in a rut just because we aren't getting it on all the time."


20. "If you think your friend is in a bad marriage but they won't listen to you, do not abandon them. If they ever do leave their spouse, they'll need a support system."


21. "Sometimes it's easy for us to get wrapped up in the lives we're trying to create with our spouses. But we haven't forgotten you."

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