We recently shared a Reddit thread in which teachers shared the funniest things their students have ever said to them, and they were totally freakin' funny:
Well, teachers in the BuzzFeed Community chimed in with some hilarious things their students have said to them in the comments section, and these will seriously make you snort-laugh:
1. "Once, my first grader asked me, 'Ms. B, did you get a hand job?' I replied, 'Did I get a WHAT?' And she said, 'You know, did you go to the nail salon?' Yes I did — thank you for noticing."
2. "My sister was in kindergarten when her teacher asked the class what they were allergic to. One kid said peanuts. My sister said people."
3. "One of my sweet little kindergarteners had special needs and sometimes exhibited some challenging behaviors. Well, one day, when he was too hands-on with another child, I had to reprimand him. And in response, he stomped his foot and said, 'Miss Jenn, when you're mean to me, that is some BULLSHIT!'"
"I had to turn around to stop myself from laughing, before reminding him that we don't use language like that."
4. "I'm just over five feet tall, and my little brother's friend once asked me if I was a kid or an adult. I laughed...but also died a little."
5. "My 7th grade students knew I was single, and were trying to set me up with my male colleagues. One of them pointed to a history teacher and asked, 'What about him?' I told her that he was taken already. She asked if he was married. 'No,' I said, 'He has a girlfriend.' And she replied, 'Ooh, no problem — that's easier to get rid of than a wife.'"
6. "We were explaining to the little kids that Christmas isn't just about getting presents, and one kid responded, 'It's Jesus' birthday. He died, then came back again, and now he's a skeleton who lives on the moon.'"
7. "Once, a student of mine got really upset that another kid told her to move and called her an 'octopus horse.' Turns out, he was asking her to move because he was building an obstacle course."
9. "I overheard one of my students complaining about how annoying glass ketchup bottles are to open. Another kid, in all seriousness, replied, 'Yeah, cause you gotta have finesse, bro.'"
10. "One of my first graders insisted that at his dentist appointment, the dentist put cavities in his teeth."
11. "Once, one of my students gave me the advice, 'If you want men to like you, you gotta drink champagne!'"
12. "A teacher friend told me that one day she asked a kid why he hadn't done his math homework. He said that he had his braces removed and was just so happy he couldn't work!"
13. "On the first day of school, a 6th grader walked over to me and said, 'You have a very bright white light around you — you are an angel on Earth.' I had no idea how to reply."
14. "I was helping a teacher when a fourth grader sitting in front of me asked, 'Are you married?' I said no, and he replied, 'Me neither.'"
15. "One of my favorite pre-kindergarteners was arguing with me, saying that his birthday was in January, not June, as it was listed on all of his school documents. When his mom came to pick him up, I asked her to confirm his birthday, and told her that he said it was in January. She looked at him and said, 'No, you were born in June.' Her son just nodded his head quietly. Well, the next day, he approached me and said, 'My mom was wrong about my birthday. It is in January. I didn't say anything because I really love her and didn't want her to feel bad about being wrong.'"
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.