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16 Creepy Stories That Prove Children Are Weird As Hell

Gathered from this Quora thread.

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1. Late-night visitor:

"I woke during the night when my son was about 3, and heard him whimpering, like he was talking to someone. I went into his room and he was sitting upright in his bed, staring at the doorway, where I was standing. I went to him, saying his name, but he never answered and his stare never wavered from the doorway. By this time I was really worrying, so I started shouting his name, hoping to snap him out of it. All of a sudden, he said 'what,' still not looking anywhere else but the doorway. I asked, 'Who are you looking at?' He turned to look at me and said, 'The man in the doorway.' Then he laid back down and was fast asleep." —Rebecca Sargerson

2. The surgeon-in-training:

"My daughter and I were reading on the couch one Sunday morning. It was raining outside. We were wrapped up warm in a blanket. She had a cup of tea. I had that perfect Americano. Life was good. My daughter looked up at me and said, 'Dad, when you die can I cut you open and look inside?' I choked a bit on my coffee. My wife simply turned around and did an about-face and walked back upstairs. 'Sure, I said.' She looked up at me, smiling." —Scott Paglia

3. The sixth sense:

"The other week, I was reading my 2-year-old daughter a bedtime story. When we finished, we were talking about been scared of ghosts, monsters, trolls, etc. and she turned to me and said, 'Daddy, I'm not scared of ghosts.' I asked, 'Why's that?' to which she replied, 'Because the one that comes into my room at night and strokes my hair is a nice one.'" —Chris Griffin

4. The vague threat:

"My friend was babysitting two girls, 3 and 5 years old. The older one drew a painting of her family in front of her kindergarten, and a brown, curly haired girl (which happens to be what my friend looks like...) kind of above the other people she drew. So my friend asked her, 'Hey, is that me? Did you draw me?' and the 5-year-old answers, 'Yes. You're in the sky, in heaven. That's where you end up when you're dead.'" —Alexandra Nekrassova

5. Self-defense:

"My daughter's friend's dad, Ian, came in for a cup of tea one day when he came to pick his daughter up. My girl, Izzy, was playing with a toy sword. Ian said to her, 'You know, Izzy, the pen is mightier than the sword.' Izzy said, 'I know, yeah, because you can stab someone in the neck with a pen.'" —Chris Bishton

6. The wood walls:

"When my daughter was 3, we moved into a new house. The week after we bought the house, my husband and I took vacation from work to paint, put in new carpet, etc., before moving in. The house was really dated, covered in faux wood paneling that had to be removed.

"Whenever I was in the master bedroom working we would get the feeling someone was in there with me. Not a creepy feeling but you know how you can tell when someone has walked into the room when your back is turned? That feeling. After we moved in I heard my daughter chatting away in the living room like toddlers do. I asked her who she was talking to, thinking she'd tell me about an imaginary friend. She said, 'The people who lived here before. They're sad that all the wood on the walls is gone but happy your bedroom is blue.' She'd never seen the wood paneling." —Gretchen Swanson

7. The haunted painting:

"My family has recently moved to a new home in a new country. It was a well-furnished apartment, and in our bedroom was a painting that looked like hair free-flowing in the air. It wasn't a pleasant or soothing painting, but I was trying to make peace with it. My son was 2½ years old then. One day I was settling him down for an afternoon nap in my bedroom, when he said, 'I don't wanna sleep in this room.' I asked him why, and he said, 'This painting looks at me and tries to talk to me, and I don't like it.'" —Richa Vyas

8. Young Hannibal:

"I regularly babysit two girls, 3 and 5 years old. Both blonde with huge blue eyes and big smiles, they are the creepiest people I have ever met. Once, after I picked them up from day care, I tried to get them excited for dinner, seeing as they don't normally eat that much when I'm there. I asked them in an overly excited voice, 'Hey guys, what do you want for dinner?' The eldest looks at me, runs away and hides behind a corner; sticking her head out, she whispers, 'I want skinned babysitter.'" —Alexandra Nekrassova

9. The big thinker:

"Just today, my 4-year-old son told me, 'I think we live in a pretend world and someone is playing with us.' I asked him what he meant, and it got even weirder: 'Well, it seems like someone does things to us, but we can't see them because we are in this world and they are not.'" —Antony Chen

10. The ageist:

"When my youngest child was about 6, she asked me how old I was. Now being only 37 at the time, I was thinking I had a few good years left. But when I told her my age, she gasped and said, 'Mom, you're almost DEAD!'" —Laura Urvina

11. Too strong for his own good:

"I was out with my little puppy. A kid of about four years old came up to me, excited to pet her. His dad said 'be gentle' as the kid was heavily hitting her head, thinking he was stroking her nicely, as kids do. Then the kid looked at me and said, 'If I hug it really hard, all its blood and guts will come out everywhere.' The dad excused them both and left." —Sarah Khan-Varda,

12. The former family:

"My 6-year old came home from school one day, bursting through the door with tears streaming down her face. 'I miss my other family,' she said. 'What other family?' I asked, thinking she may have been talking about her grandparents, or other friends or relatives. 'My alien robot family,' she explained, continuing to explain that she lived with them in the sky before she came into my tummy. She chose to come down because she was angry with them, and chose our family, but now she missed them and wanted to go back for a visit." —Rachel Greenwood

13. Morbid curiosity:

"When I was 4, my mother taught me the concept of death, and how, as a person gets old, their parents would probably die. I was fascinated with the concept of not having a mother. One day following that, I met a woman who looked old, like 60–70. I said, 'Look at the trees outside. They can live for a thousand years. We barely live for a hundred. So...is your mom dead?' Apparently I really wanted to talk to someone without a mom, to find out what it's like." —Crystal Lai

14. The family planner:

"My youngest of three boys, at 3 years old, just asked my wife, 'Mommy, it would be better if you had only two sons, wouldn't it?'" —Samuel Mota

15. The dancer:

"When I was 6, my mum took me to visit my great-grandfather's grave while we were on holiday in Ireland. She let me place the flowers by the headstone, after which I turned to her and said, 'I'll dance on your grave when you die, Mummy.' I thought that was a nice turn of phrase people used — I must have heard it on the television!" —Taylor Heyman

16. The doomsdayer:

"On a flight with my son, the plane took off and hit a couple bumps. The passengers were being somewhat quiet when my son yelled, 'WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!'" —Mike Sessions

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