Dan Harmon's classic sitcom is filled with moments that are so well written, it's hard to believe the show was almost canceled.
50.Abed: "It's like a mafia movie!" / Voiceover: "As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be in a mafia movie."
49.Troy: "City College is trying to destroy Greendale, and they're an unstoppable 'jugglenaut.'"
48.Shirley: "Oh, they've got a class on jokes! / Annie: Oh, don't take that! I dropped it after the lesson on setups. The professor is so old…"
47.Abed: "TV's rules aren't based on common sense. They're based on the studio wanting to milk their profits dry."
46.Shirley: "I haven't felt that chemistry coming my way. I don't know if it's because you're racist or because I intimidate you sexually, but I know it's one of those two."
45.Abed: "We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all of human civilization. And that's canon."
44.Troy: "She was born in the '80s. She still uses her phone as a phone!"
43.Jeff: "You're wearing protective goggles to destroy my car?!" Chang: "Safety first!"
42.Shirley: "Abed, have you been racist this whole time while I'm telling everybody at church what a sweet little caramel angel you are?"
41.Jeff: "People die every day, and by the time I finish this sentence, a hundred people will have died in China." / Troy: "Why…did you stop talking?!"
40.Evil Abed: "Do you know what kind of person becomes a psychologist? A person that wishes deep down that everyone more special than them was sick because healthy sounds so much more exciting than boring. You're average, Britta Perry. You're every kid on the playground who didn't get picked on. You're a business casual potted plant, a human white sale. You're VH1 Robocop 2 and Back to the Future 3. You're the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I'm the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You're Jim Belushi."
39.Shirley: "Mother Hen? I think we're about the same age." / Britta: "Sure, unless time is linear." / Shirley: "I'll make your ass linear!" / Britta: "That doesn't make any sense." / Shirley: "I'll make your ass sense!"
38.Ian Duncan: "True. All life ends in death, which we, as a species, are cursed with knowing. Resulting in…something. Again, this is really not my field."
37.Troy: "I have a gift! I'm special! I'm not a loser like you! I'm gonna eat space paninis with Black Hitler, and there's nothing you can do about it!"
36.Elroy: "Now...this is a man…who knows how to marry his cousin!"
35.Narrator: "The sensitive high school quarterback who became commander-in-chief of his own army. He would say of the war, 'It was awesome, but also, it wasn't?'"
34.Britta: "I lived in New York, Troy. I know what a 'baggle' is."
33.Troy: "We are 40 light years outside of the Buttermilk Nebula. Although, it is possible…yeah, it's a sticker."
32.Chang: "I AM A SPANISH GENIUS! In Español, my nickname is 'EL TIGRE CHINO!'"
31.Garrett: "ASS...CRACK...BANDIIIIIIITTT!"
30.Annie: "You listen up, Pierce! I'm gonna tell you what my mother told me when I wanted to quit cheerleading. 'You're not very pretty, you have no boobs, and you can't do a basket toss to save your life.' But you made a commitment. So pick up your pompoms, Pierce, stuff your bra, and get ready for the team bus to forget you at a Taco Bell, because life is tough. But we soldier on, and that's just the way it goes."
29.Troy: "Which would make me 10, because everyone is 10 for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for everyone…Mom! How many lies have I been living?"
28.Troy: "I AM THE TRUEST REPAIRMAN!"
27.Pierce: "Can't hear you over the sound of me rubbing his sword on my balls." / Abed: (rolls dice) "You have...successfully rubbed your balls on the sword."
25.Britta: "Who is the lucky brunette?" / Jeff: "Last name: Beeswax. First name: Nunya." / Pierce: "Oh, my third wife was biracial!"
24.Jeff: "Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl!" / Troy: "And how about I pound you like a boy?! That didn't come out right."
23.Abed: "The night beckons. Its black fingers curl and uncurl, going like, 'Hey, come here.'"
22.Abed: "It's OK to plan some stuff, and it's OK to figure out what we did wrong. But our plans are randomly gonna fall apart, and our lessons are randomly gonna be wrong, and if we just keep the cameras rolling and shoot a lot of crap, eventually… Annie is going to reach down her shirt and pull out a laser bomb."
21.Troy: "You can yell at me all you want! I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster!"
20.Troy: "You are human tennis elbow! You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth! You are the opposite of Batman!"
19.Troy: "You're the AT&T of people."
18.Shirley: "Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up, or I will make a pie!"
17.Troy: "He's shooting lightning, and I'm naked!"
16.Dean: "What's Dean got to do with it? Why, it's time to Tina TURNER the clocks ahead. Happy daylight savings!"
15.Troy: "It's not a request. I'm giving you an 'all tomato.' Meaning you give me the whole tomato or else."
14.Troy: "Way to hog all the girls, Jeff! You know, when there are three sprinkled donuts, you don't eat one and then lick another!"
13.Abed: "It's the first season of Lost on DVD." / Pierce: "That's the meaning of Christmas?" / Abed: "No, it's a metaphor. It represents a lack of payoff."
12.Dean Pelton: "Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha! GAY MARRIAGE!"
11.Troy: "Uh…guys? What does a pregnancy test look like?" / Jeff: "Uh, it's like a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it." / Troy: "OK, so then this is definitely a gun!"
10.Troy: "I saw Abed's name in the hospital school files. I love butt stuff. I hate spiders. I stole a pen from the bank. I cried during About a Boy…the soundtrack. I don't wash my hands before surgery. I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just want to know they feel comfortable. I didn't get Inception. I didn't get Inception!"
9.Vice Dean Laybourne: "You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy pansexual imp, but you wanted to feel power this year. Well, now you're going to feel my power as it surges downward from me straight through you from nostril to rectum now until the end of time…and that's…wassup."
8.Abed: "Oh, I'm a cat! I'm a sexy cat!"
7.Jeff: "None of us have to go to anyone, and the idea we do is a mental illness we contracted from breath mint commercials and Sandra Bullock. We can't keep going to each other until we learn to go to ourselves. Stop making our hatred of ourselves someone else's job, and just stop hating ourselves."
6.Troy: "I don't know what to do! My whole brain is crying!"
5.Abed: "Britta, I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt. That's why I was willing to change for you guys. When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal."
4.Jeff: "Harrison Ford is radiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions!"
3.Abed: "Chaos already dominates enough of our lives. The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness. Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it together, on the raft of life."
2.Troy and Abed: "Troy and Abed in the morning!"
1.Abed: "Six seasons and a movie!"
Are there any other quotes from Community that you love? Please let us know in the comments section below.
