1. To all you trendy hipster farm-to-table restaurants out there, we need to talk.
2. We know you want to be creative.
3. You want to be cute.
4. You want to be funny.
5. And provocative.
6. You're doing it all **ironically**. We know.
You're going to love this: DECONSTRUCTED SPAG BOL, La Folie Douce, Val d'isere, €29 (@WeWantPlates)
7. But like, can we level with you?
8. Can we let you all in on a secret?
Breakfast in a surgical tray. Beans in a glass. Bread on a #bumpaddle. Chef in a headlock. (Pic: @ThatDamnYank)
9. There's this thing that makes eating out way more enjoyable...
@londonlass666 "Put it on the slate" You sound like the chef in a hipster restaurant.
10. And just all-around easier...
11. And it's called TABLEWARE.
12. You know, like plates?
Bread in a flat cap, Yorkshire @WeWantPlates
13. And normal bowls?
Confirmation of the Bread Slippers of Switzerland. You're welcome. #wewantplates
14. Instead of vintage irons?
IRONING INSTRUCTIONS Cotton: iron on high heat Silk: iron on medium heat Nylon: iron on low heat Prawns: iron on ma… https://t.co/0popJW2vzf
15. And like, this m-f-ing umbrella??
The end of the world is nigh. (Pic: @wyahaw)
16. And gardening tools?
My wife ordered mushrooms today and they came in a garden trowel. This is why we need nuclear war.
17. It would just be like...nice, ya know?
I love this time of year when the fries are in full bloom
18. To eat off a normal platter...
@WeWantPlates just been served my lunch in Greece on a miniature skateboard. It's a mineral spa by a lake full of e… https://t.co/fADPIbVklc
19. And drink out of normal glasses.
Enjoying #WorldGinDay? WE'RE SORRY. (Pic: @hollycavetravel)
20. And like, have an actual cheese **board**?
Bloody Wimbledon. (Pic: @msleannefraser)
21. Please just...give us silverware.
"How would you like your lamb?" "On a rock with a pair of tweezers, please." (Pic: @SiMackie)
22. And normal cups...
And I thought the jam jar was bad.
23. Because we promise, tableware is NOT overrated.
Enough now
24. If anything, it's not nearly appropriately rated.
"Here's your prawn lollipop. Feel free to feed the fish but please don't turn the liquidiser on." (Pic: @johnnyhc)
25. We're not asking for much in this life, people.
This is not a dessert. This is a puzzle. (Pic: @Tankian21)
26. We're just a couple of hungry people...
"Sorry, I didn't order a beer." "That's gravy, sir." "It's what?" "Gravy." "In a can?" "Yes." [looks round] "Grav… https://t.co/w2bGofwrMN
27. Standing before the world...
Just to let you know @HarvesterUK there are things called plates that need no paper lining and don't spin so freely… https://t.co/aVfj7jeb3M
28. And asking if we can please...
29. Just, please...
Coffee could become really popular if someone could just invent some sort of vessel for drinking it out of. (Pic:… https://t.co/tdzOrIDa4a
30. Pretty, pretty please...
Remember the wheelie bin code: Green = garden waste Black = cans and glass Grey = overpriced crisps (Pic: @helenium)
31. Can we have normal containers for food?
32. And...not doggie bowls?
33. Or...skull glasses?
34. Until then, I guess we'll be *checks menu* getting our tetanus shots, eh?
So, is your pulse up to speed already or can you still take these posts?
16 "Concept" Restaurants That Need To Be Stopped
23 Upsetting Images Of Food Being Served On Literally Everything But A Plate
19 Hipster Restaurants That Need To Be Immediately Fucking Stopped
This post was translated from German.