19 Hipster Restaurants That Need To Be Immediately Fucking Stopped
Can't really eat anything unless it's deconstructed and served off a chopping board.
1. This place that served someone's nice dinner in a glass.
*weeps* Can't we just use beer glasses for beer?
2. This restaurant that threw caution to the wind and completely deconstructed a bolognese.
You're going to love this: DECONSTRUCTED SPAG BOL, La Folie Douce, Val d'isere, €29 (@WeWantPlates)
Oh well, at least it's sort of on a plate.
3. This hipster place that tried to act like a shopping trolley was a normal receptacle for coleslaw.
For fuck's sake.
4. And this place that served a prawn cocktail in a skip.
5. This restaurant that put a fry-up in a surgical tray.
Breakfast in a surgical tray. Beans in a glass. Bread on a #bumpaddle. Chef in a headlock. (Pic: @ThatDamnYank)
That's a surgical tray – you know, the thing the scissors go in before they cut you up.
6. And of course, literally every single restaurant that serves saucy food on a flat board.
It may not be as silly as some of the rest, but it is a MENACE.
7. This hipster restaurant that decided to brazenly slip a fruity meat bonanza into the dessert menu.
Delicious apple turnover, OH NO WAIT it contains bone marrow. Mmm delicious pork rinds and ice cream.
8. And this place that couldn't even be bothered to make a cheesecake.
So that's a bunch of cream and some cookie crumbs in a bowl then?
9. This establishment that helpfully put the tables 1 foot below the chairs.
10. And this place that decided a barber's chair was the most practical place to sit to enjoy your food.
As you can see, it's impossible to fit under that table while sitting in this contraption, forcing you to sit alone staring into the void wondering how your life became like this.
11. This place that thought it was OK to show a video of mince being made as ironic entertainment for diners.
I watched that on loop for two hours. It was terrible.
12. This restaurant that used a red onion as a table number holder.
Waste of a bloody good onion if you ask me.
13. This place that thinks a gross old tin can is a nice way to get a cocktail.
14. And this blasphemous place that decided to serve beer in a mason jar.
Beer does not deserve this kind of treatment.
15. This place that decided the bathroom sinks needed to reflect the restaurant's organic urban farm aesthetic.
@WeWantPlates #WeWantSinks
16. And this place that decided the Dyson Airblade hand dryers in the bathroom needed to look more edgy.
17. This establishment that bashed a load of random wood together and called it a chair.
When can we stop pretending these are acceptable seats? #wewantchairs
Sort of OK to sit on if you're around a campfire, not really OK when you've dropped half a day's pay to drink cocktails out of an old tin mug.
18. This child-friendly hipster establishment that helpfully provided creepy Victorian restraints for kids.
"Now keep quiet, Timothy, or you're not getting any of those nice ironic beans served in an old man's hat."
19. And this restaurant that invented the hipsterest seat of all time.
They actually have plates. Maybe having plates is ironic now?