It's about to get messy, y'all! Members of the BuzzFeed Community and Reddit shared the pettiest reasons they've ever broken up with somebody...and they're A LOT. Here are 19 of the best (worst?) reasons why:
1. "I called it quits with a guy I had been dating for three weeks because I literally had to teach him how to boil water. He was 29 at the time. And a civil engineer."
2. "It was too hard to park by her apartment."
3. "I stopped casually dating a guy because he took 30 minutes to decide what omelet he wanted at IHOP."
4. "I dumped a guy after the second date because he licked his eyeglasses to clean them."
5. "I once had a guy break up with me when he found out I wasn't the popular girl in high school. For the record, we were both 25 at the time."
6. "My ex told me that she broke up with her first boyfriend because she didn't feel like shopping for his birthday gift."
7. "After the third date, he told me he 'couldn’t wait to have kids with me because I was great breeding stock.'"
8. "I broke up with a girl because she said she didn’t like the way a banjo sounds."
"I don’t play banjo, but c’mon, those things are awesome."
9. "Halfway through our first date, he left because I wouldn't agree with his assertion that Quentin Tarantino was the greatest director of all time."
— prolix
10. "I once ended things with a guy because he was allergic to both cats and pine."
"I couldn't imagine a world in which I'd have to get rid of my cats or have a fake Christmas tree."
11. "I have an iPhone, and I can’t be with a guy who has an Android, because I can’t stand the green texts."
"I've been in the 'talking' stage with different people and try to give them a chance, but those green texts just get to me, and I eventually just stop talking to them."
12. "Every time I touched her, I would smell of egg. Held hands? Egg. Hugged her? My shirt would smell of egg. Strangest bit was, she didn't smell like that whatsoever. When I broke it off, the egg smelling stopped."
13. "I once broke up with a guy because he said John Mayer is the greatest musician of our generation.”
14. "I broke up with a girl I just moved in with because she said my favorite song was the worst song she ever heard."
"For the record, the song was 'Ballad Of Dorothy Parker' by Prince."
— ddwhu90
15. "She scraped her teeth on her utensils when she ate. I just couldn't."
16. "I broke up with a guy because I couldn’t remember how to tell him apart from his twin. I constantly 'cheated' on him with his brother."
"In fairness, his twin and I had recess together and I only saw my boyfriend in the hallway. This about was second grade. I don’t remember his name, but I remember his twin’s name 30+ years later."
— sexyfart
17. "Once I broke up with someone cuz his feet were like Hobbit feet."
"He had long, yellow nails, really long hair poking out of his sandals, and hard yellow skin all over the heels. Total ick."
18. "I once ended it with a guy I went on a few dates with because he always had eye boogers."
"I could not look at them anymore and saw a future of me telling him to clean his eyes."
19. And finally, "On the second date, the guy quoted the entirety of the Bee Movie. He was 24."
"On the same date, he hung up mistletoe in his apartment and said that meant we had to kiss. It was April."
Now it's your turn! Have you ever ended things with someone for a "petty" reason like these? If so, tell us about them in the comments below, and you just might be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.