Hiiiiiiii everybody. Some of you might have gone on the journey with me during Game of Thrones, where I wrote down every thought I had while watching each episode. Guess what? I'm gonna do it again with House of the Dragon! Because no matter how many times the GoT franchise hurts me, I just keep on coming back for more. Because dang it, dragons are cool.
So without further ado, let's jump into Season 1, Episode 1 of House of the Dragon. Here's every thought I had:
1. Okay, I'm hearing a voiceover but I'm not seeing anything. This is a black screen, right? Because otherwise, the cinematography on this show is even darker than the final season of Game of Thrones.
2. Yeah, it's a black screen.
3. Although shit's still dark and I can't see very well. Sighhhhhh.
4. "With 10 adult dragons under its yoke" that's a lotta good bois (and a lot of money spent on CGI)!
5. We haven't had to deal with this many Targaryens before, so I want to apologize in advance for how many times I'm going to misspell their names. I only just got the hang of Daenerys in, like, Season 7. Now we've got Jaeherys, Rhaenys, and so on.
6. Targaryens love slapping an A and an E together.
7. I'm sorry to Viserys because I know he's not the Viserys we know, but I already don't trust him just because of his name.
8. THE THEME SONG IS KICKING UP Y'ALL.
9. I didn't want to be hype, but I'm hype.
10. "The only thing that could tear down the House of the Dragon was itself." So sad because that happened TWICE.
11. This was cool:
12. We're in the clouds, so either someone's on a Delta flight or we're about to see a dragon.
13. IT'S A DRAGON.
14. There are some really cool variations on the theme song happening, which I love.
15. We're back in King's Landing! It's been a while.
16. Ooh, was that the Dragonpit we just saw? We haven't seen it fully standing before.
17. Since it's where the dragon just landed, I'm gonna assume yes.
18. So this is Rhaenyra, and her golden dragon is Syrax.
19. This show is MANIPULATING ME by playing the THEME SONG while they walk through the RED KEEP, and it is WORKING VERY WELL.
20. I have no idea how I can be nostalgic for a show that ended (rather poorly) like three years ago, but here we are.
21. Heyyyy, the Iron Throne has more swords!
22. It looks so much more like the original concept art now, which is cool.
23. I love Matt Smith, but his face is so recognizable that it's kind of funny seeing him in his Targaryen wig.
24. He looks like he belongs in Rivendell with Legolas.
25. A Valyrian steel necklace! What our pals up in Winterfell about 200 years later would give to be able to melt that sucker down and at least get one more dagger out of it.
26. Dark Sister, by the way, is one of the Valyrian steel swords of House Targaryen, which I know because I love swords...and also because of Wikipedia.
27. A Weirwood tree!
28. Do you think Bran can see all this? Technically, he could be watching this conversation right now.
29. I thought all the Weirwoods south of Winterfell were cut down? I don't remember there being one in King's Landing, but maybe I'm wrong. Yell at me in the comments if I'm wrong.
30. "And eat only cake." Girl, same.
31. That was...quite a close-up of Viserys's wound. Thanks for that.
32. There's wayyyyyy too much talk about this baby being a boy for that to actually happen.
33. Poor Aemma has been through a lot.
34. Okay, so I know that the goldcloaks are committing some horrible acts here, but the lighting is so dark that I can't really see what's going on exactly.
35. Considering the glimpses I have seen, maybe that's a good thing.
36. Corlys, I expected better from you than to support Daemon.
37. Wow, I'm not saying I'm team Lord Hightower, but Daemon was OUT OF LINE here.
38. It wouldn't be a Game of Thrones show if we didn't have a brothel scene in the first episode, now would it?
39. At least we don't have Littlefinger monologuing right now.
40. "I could even arrange one with silver hair." So, either Daemon is a little incestuous or a lot narcissistic to be into silver hair. Or maybe both.
41. "I've never heard of House Cole." Me neither!
42. Okay, Daemon's armor is pretty dope, though.
43. That poor horse!
44. Oh, it's OK. Thank goodness.
45. I feel you, puking squire boy.
46. We are all puking squire boy.
47. Oh my god, they're going to perform a C-section on this poor woman?
48. Yep, they are.
49. Well, there goes Viserys's likability.
50. And here goes the first gratuitously violent and horrible scene against a woman in this show's very young history.
51. Once again...we are all puking squire boy.
52. Well, at least Daemon lost.
53. It IS a boy! I really thought it would be a girl considering—
55. Oh no.
56. Well, with that much foreshadowing, something terrible had to happen with this birth, and there you go.
57. I think we're about to get our first "dracarys" of the series...
58. Yep, there it is.
59. Otto Hightower is about to try to wed his poor daughter to Viserys, isn't he?
61. I mean, the easiest solution here is obviously to try to remarry the king and produce an heir ASAP, but poor Alicent.
62. Sorry, but I'm dying laughing at these two in the brothel who stopped mid-bang to listen to Daemon's speech:
63. Like, they're just all, "Well, our prince is speaking, but I'm not gonna pull out or anything."
64. I wanna thank Viserys and the writers of House of the Dragon for introducing me to the word "lickspittle," which is apparently an old-timey way of saying "suck-up." It's gross, I love it.
65. We're seeing a lot of Baratheon rep in this episode.
66. Ooh, and there's a Stark!
67. Viserys knows about the Long Winter. Innnnnnteresting...
68. "When this Great Winter comes, Rhaenyra, all of Westeros must stand against it." Sorry, best we can do is a very small sliver of Westeros, the remainder of a Dothraki army, and a lady with some fire magic that's a little out of whack. But we WILL have Arya Stark.
69. So this is interesting! The Targaryen dynasty knew about everything to come, which makes their downfall that much more tragic.
70. I always liked the theory that A Song of Ice and Fire was Sam's history of all these events, but it looks like it's canon that it was actually a Targaryen's vision of the future. I don't hate it, but I did love that theory.