How do you address a mixed-gender group of people? Most of the country says "you guys," but many wouldn't consider that to be gender-neutral.
Well, comedian and writer Ellory Smith — along with the help of Twitter — may have come up with the perfect solution. Smith sent out a simple request this week: share your favorite gender-neutral greeting.
Everybody drop your favorite gender neutral greeting mine is “what’s up rat bastards”
Smith hosts a comedy show in LA called Funnilingus, which features female and non-binary performers.
While Smith's suggestion of "What's up rat bastards" is incredible on its own, the other recommendations in the thread are equally amazing. For example, you can walk into any room like Jenna Maroney from 30 Rock:
@ellorysmith @canadasandra Listen up fives, a ten is speaking
You can establish dominance by calling everyone a coward:
@ellorysmith What's new you cowards?
I'm always a fan of a good rhyme:
@ellorysmith @daxlovesdoggos what it do buckaroo
You can get a little lofty with it:
@ellorysmith Greetings, animated beings
Or you can straight-up sound like an alien:
@ellorysmith PEOPLE OF EARTH
Remember, gender-neutral pronouns are good and useful!
@ellorysmith Theydies and Gentlethems
This one could be dicey, make sure Steve Rogers isn't anywhere nearby:
@ellorysmith Hail Hydra
You can pick out all the Game of Thrones nerds in the room right off the bat:
@ellorysmith “hello my sweet summer children”
You can throw it back to like, 1999:
@ellorysmith
Or you can be real condescending:
@ellorysmith "kiddos" is perfectly gender neutral and also just the right amount of condescending
Everyone loves a good Spongebob reference:
Good morning, Krusty Crew! https://t.co/iW6g1KrrqP
Personal note, I would love to start every day being greeted as a "glitterkitten":
Hey, glitterkittens! https://t.co/Fc64ZoSXae
These two only work if you're greeting every person individually, but they will feel very important:
@thisdiegolopez @ellorysmith common in my friendgroup is *firm handshake* “Doctor.”
Never underestimate the power of communism:
@ellorysmith @gothkelpie Comrades. Obviously.
And there's always the disheveled Leslie Knope option:
@ellorysmith @beautiful_boye
But no matter what you choose for a greeting, you MUST say this when you leave:
@ellorysmith Not a greeting, but a farewell