1. This easygoing person:
Overheard a girl laying by the pool on the phone “as long as I’m blacked out I 200% don’t care what happens”
2. The truth about Shrek:
Overheard at the ballet: “Shrek really happened. You know, back when ogres were real and all. All Star and everyth… https://t.co/lp1U1xkG1T
3. The person confused at a TSA checkpoint:
an actual conversation overheard at the airport: “Will my fake breasts set off the metal detector?” “Are they metal?” “Oh”
4. The student who knew what he was about:
Overheard at the lib: “I’m not a big work ethic guy.” Yeah same here kid. #MidtermSZN
5. This ending to what must have been a great explanation:
overheard out of context in the piano lounge tonight: "... so THAT'S why kidz bop is called kidz bop"
6. This prelude to a sad realization:
Overheard from the 9yo to the 5yo: "But what if Mum and Dad are the Easter Bunny? I would be sad." "Yeah, I would be sad too." Um. Ah.
7. This A+ insult:
Overheard a woman say very angrily on the phone “I married a stale ham sandwich of a human” and calling someone a s… https://t.co/zKKT6TsYpX
8. This totally legit request:
overheard: “I’m not paying for tinder unless they let me reduce the distance to like 30 feet”
9. This accidentally rude child:
Shopping at Target tonight, overheard this convo: Girl: I’m 5 and 1/2. Lady she just met: I wish I was 5 1/2! Girl:… https://t.co/xds3RUSa1n
10. This new reading technique:
Overheard in the hall today: "yeah I skimmed it, but I skimmed thoroughly." Pretty sure that's called "reading", child.
11. The most dedicated partygoer:
Overheard: “I totally puked, but I kept partying” It’s kind of a positive affirmation on how to live life if you want to spin it right.
12. This elegant solution to climate change:
Overheard at the restaurant: "Why don't we just make all bowls bread bowls? That'd really cut into global warming."
13. This sentence, which is very sad to adults:
“What’s a CD” - overheard from a junior high/early high school looking kid. Hurt my soul a little. Made me feel old.
14. The Greg Paradox:
Overheard man on phone: “Then my boss said to me, “I always tell my employees, you’re either the tortoise or the h… https://t.co/IAYJTIrfJb
15. This possibly incorrect use of "meta," but who knows:
Overheard in L.A.: “He’s so meta right now it’s ridiculous. I don’t even know if that was the right word, by the way.”
16. This Target shopper:
I just overheard a woman in Target asking where they sell the toast. help
17. And finally, the person who doesn't like potatoes:
Overheard: I don't like potatoes, can I substitute them for fries 🍟?