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Hi Edinburgh, nice to meet you. Mind if I live here in the city of why-does-everything-look-like-a-castle?
What’s that? I can’t? Okay, let me plan a moderately priced trip instead.
Here's how to see Edinburgh when your bank account has the same number of digits before and after the decimal.
Castle Rock Hostel is probably the closest you'll ever sleep to royalty.
A window view that is a CASTLE and not a brick wall?! I'm crying. Rooms starting at $14.14 for dates 11/30/2016—12/07/2016.
This 18th-century Airbnb makes you climb 73 steps but damn, it's worth it.
Sure, you have to walk up all those stairs. But look how cute! Rooms starting at $92 a night for dates 11/30/2016—12/07/2016
Book a room at Smart City Hostel and be in the middle of literally everything.
Many visitors claim to see the MacKenzie Poltergeist in Greyfriars Kirkyard, a cemetery known for its ~haunted~ happenings.
And let's not forget the tale of Greyfriars Bobby, a dog who protected the grave of his master for nearly 14 years.
Founded in 1124, St Giles' Cathedral is dedicated to the patron saint of Edinburgh.
Said patron saint being Saint Giles, obviously.
Head to The Voodoo Rooms if you like creative drinks, good food, live music, and gorgeous interior design.
Promising review: "A friend who used to live here recommended the place and I loved it! I was tired after a long day and wanted to go for drinks in a nice place and Voodoo Rooms was perfect for that! The place is BEAUTIFUL. Classy and chic, but you don't have to dress smart at all if you don't feel like it. The cocktails are unusually creative and super good! We had the Portobello Rosie, which I loved, and my friend had something peachy with black tea and lemon." —Melanie H.
Listen to the creepiest tales of Edinburgh's past on this haunted walking tour.
I love hearing about real-life cannibals... *nervous laugh*
Admission: $13
Take a Harry Potter filming location walking tour and feel like less of a Muggle.
See the real-life places that inspired J.K. Rowling to dream up the wizarding world.
Admission: $25
Shortbread, meet everyone. Everyone, meet shortbread (an addictive biscuit that originated in Scotland).
Challenge: Eat just one of the chocolate almond shortbreads above.
Try this delicious treat at Pinnies and Poppy Seeds, an artisan shortbread shop that you'll want to bring home with you.
Promising review: "Such a quaint wee shop! As I walked up and down the Royal Mile yesterday between Fringe shows, the smell of buttery and sugary goodness was hard to resist. So I just had to go in. After much consideration (.001 of a second) I had decided that one was not enough. I needed more! This was amongst the best shortbread I've ever had. Seriously, if you manage to walk past the enticing smells of buttery sugary deliciousness, you're a better person than I am." —Chantelle T.
Edinburgh Castle, aka one of the most photogenic places in the world.
Friendly caption suggestion: "Honey, I'm home!"
Admission: $21
Climb up Arthur's Seat and take in the breathtaking view that is the Edinburgh skyline.
The view at the top will be so worth the hike.
Do you hear that? It's the sound of every alleyway in Edinburgh begging you to take a picture.
It'll last longer than your trip. Unfortunately.
BRB, just booking my trip to Edinburgh.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.