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23 Irresistibly Weird Books You Won't Believe Actually Exist

"I decided to order this book because my cat was out of control; promiscuous, a gun nut, and using the internet unsafely..."

1. This coloring book exposes unicorns for what they really are: majestic, but utterly rude creatures who eat your leftovers.

2. Dancing With Jesus is a service book that teaches you how to get down as if none of your disciples are watching.

3. This handy guide is like Dr. Phil for your troubled cat — a foolproof way to help felines preserve their nine lives.

4. All My Friends Are Dead draws attention to everyday suffering you don't think about, like the sock who loses his soulmate.

5. This sad activity book doesn't give directions on how to steal the Declaration of Independence. Rude.

6. I Could Pee On This is a collection of poems (written by cats) that reveals the daily struggle of our feline friends.

Promising review: "Only a cat could have written this treasury of cat-think. Poetry and prose certain to entertain and amuse every cat lover, even the human ones. The type is large enough for a geezer (like my person) to enjoy, even in less-than-adequate light. Cat portraits showing our furry brethren in cute and/or compromising poses illustrate the pages." —Jac William Stein

Get it from Amazon for $9.32.

7. This handy guide will prepare you for the inevitable uprising of the garden gnomes. It's only a matter of time...

8. This coloring book recognizes the hard-working, often underpaid dinosaurs that keep our world spinning.

9. These heartwarming letters, written by canines, express the biggest mistakes our doggy friends have made.

10. This instructional book is great for when your day job doesn't provide the finances necessary to buy the 37 dogs you need in your life.

This is a gag book. Just to be crystal clear.

Promising review: "Mostly made up of common sense advice. My drug empire is too advanced to benefit from novice, small-time dealer instruction." —Ian

Get it from Amazon for $8.98.

11. This book is full of life lessons and important tidbits of information, such as "8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You."

12. This passion-filled romance novel is brought to you by the writer behind "Fifty Shades of Nay."

13. Farting Animals is a revolutionary coloring book that finally brings to light a very sensitive issue — flatulence is normal.

14. This "classification system" will have you saying RIP to all the abandoned and abused shopping carts in America.

Promising review: "This book is for those of us who believe that shopping cart theft is a gateway crime, much like pot is known as a gateway drug to harder drugs. Everyone needs to learn to identify the stray carts in your own neighborhood!" —Heather

Get it from Amazon for $13.86.

15. Pop Sonnet will taketh your favorite songs and give them a house remix by DJ Willy Shakes.

16. This is a collection of classic canine poems such as, "I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House."

Featuring work by renowned doggy poets, such as Edgar Allen Pug and J.R.Terrier.

Promising review: "I love a good dog book — and by good, I mean one that doesn't make me cry. This fit the bill perfectly. My favorite poems were definitely the ones involving separation anxiety, and not getting doggy dinner served on time. I can so relate." —Knitting Ninja

Get it from Amazon for $10.83.

17. This crafting guide provides a Pinterest board of things you can do with cat hair. Phew, all your problems are solved.

18. The Very Hungry Zombie should not be read to human children. Read them the caterpillar one instead.*

19. This Bill Murray coloring book is great for anyone who has tried calling the Ghostbusters with no luck.

20. Strangers Have The Best Candy will make any parent clench their fists and begin to weep.

21. This collection contains the weirdest, creepiest, crappiest examples of taxidermy. Ever.

22. F in Exams will make you feel better about all the tests, SATs, ACTs, etc. that you didn't ace.

23. Finally, this book. I am uncomfortable.

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