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This Is What Happened When I Asked British People To Guess Aussie Slang

"A franger sounds edible but also like a mistake."

I, an Australian, asked three of my British colleagues to guess the meaning of some of our most ~colourful~ slang. Turns out it's basically a foreign language...

1.

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Jasmin: I can only think that this means one thing. I feel bad typing it in case my mum reads this.

Dionne: This sounds like it’s NSFW.

Jamie: Yeah, there’s only one thing I can think of here and it’s very NSFW.

Actual meaning: Slang for blowfly, e.g. "You should've seen the blowie in my room last night."

2.

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Jasmin: I feel like this means crap? I can imagine someone saying “that’s so bogan” and meaning it in a bad way, but I could also be talking out of my arse.

Dionne: I have no idea. Something or someone who is not legit, maybe? “You’re so bogan, mate.”

Jamie: Ok, I’ve heard this word before but I have NO IDEA what it means. It definitely sounds like something negative though.

Actual meaning: A person with no class or taste, e.g. "I wore my ugg boots to the shops and looked like such a bogan."

3.

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Jasmin: I KNOW this can’t mean the actual plant, but I can’t imagine what else it could mean?? So I’m just going to make something up and say that it means drunk.

Jamie: I’m also guessing this isn’t the prickly desert plant. I honestly can’t think of anything else green and spikey that this could be referring to?

Dionne: I’m going to be safe and say plant of the succulent type. I know it’s probably a trick question.

Actual meaning: Dead, not functioning, e.g. "The car's fucken cactus."

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4.

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Jasmin: Somewhere that’s super busy maybe. In the UK we say “choc-a-block” and that sounds pretty similar.

Dionne: A variant of choc-a-block, meaning packed or busy?

Jamie: Going to take a punt and guess that it’s a super annoying way of saying chocolate?

Actual meaning: Crowded, completely full, e.g. "I couldn't move, the place was chockers."

5.

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Jasmin: Gonna take a wild guess...something old? Like an old car? This is very specific and also probably wrong.

Dionne: Could this mean when someone tells a bad joke? Like, “that was a clacker, Dionne”. I’m so bad at this.

Jamie: I’m clueless.

Actual meaning: Anus, e.g. "I stuck a cracker up my clacker."

6.

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Jasmin: This sounds like an Australian way of saying “cracking open a cold one with the boys”.

Jamie: Sounds drug related. Is it drug related?

Dionne: Open a window? Or open something? I can’t think of what the “fat” could mean though.

Actual meaning: To get an erection, e.g. "He couldn't crack a fat."

7.

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Jasmin: A fun way of saying dog???? I’m gonna feel bad if it’s not and I end up calling my dog a dag.

Jamie: There’s song in Hamilton that has the lyrics “dag, I amaze and astonish”, and that’s the extent of my knowledge.

Dionne: Does it mean your best friend? “That’s my daaaaaag!”

Actual meaning: An untidy or uncool person, e.g. "I feel like such a dag today."

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8.

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Jamie: I’m pretty sure you’re just making up words to test us.

Jasmin: Someone silly. “Ah, that’s so dunny of you!” an Australian person would say. I think.

Dionne: What Jamie said! If I had to guess, it sounds like something you’d say when you’re surprised about something. “No way, that’s so dunny!”

Actual meaning: Toilet, e.g. "I'm busting for the dunny."

9.

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Jasmin: It sounds edible but also like a mistake. Lets combine the two and say “edible mistake”.

Jamie: It sounds like it has something to do with the word “clacker”.

Dionne: When someone makes a gaff in a public place. “What a franger!”

Actual meaning: Condom, e.g. "Have you got a franger?"

10.

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Jasmin: Being loud, obnoxious or overly confrontational.

Dionne: A mouthy, feisty person. That’s what it means in the UK anyway.

Jamie: Wait, isn’t that spelled “gobby”?

Dionne: Yes, it is, but we’ve been asked to talk Australian. Maybe it’s spelt differently there?

Jamie: Very good point.

Actual meaning: A blow job, e.g. "Got a gobbie last night."

11.

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Jasmin: I’m convinced this means someone who is being a fool.

Dionne: I think Jasmin’s right.

Jamie: I’m also fully on board with this definition.

Actual meaning: Boxed wine, a popular drink amongst students in particular, e.g. "I finished all the goon then used the sack as a pillow."

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12.

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Jasmin: A hangover? Because it sounds like you feel all ~groggy~ in the morning after going out.

Jamie: OK, I THINK I KNOW THIS ONE! Pirates drink it.

Dionne: Add a “g” and a “y” and this is how I feel when I wake up in the morning.

Actual meaning: Alcohol of any kind, e.g. "Bring your own grog."

13.

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Jasmin: We say this in the UK too! Means going to get a McDonald's.

Dionne: What Jasmin said, as I trust her. Plus, I’ve never referred to going to “Maccy D’s” in this way.

Jamie: I’ve never referred to it as Macca’s myself, but this is definitely something British people do, e.g. “oi oi, fancy a cheeky Macca's??”

Actual meaning: Getting food from the drive-thru at McDonald's, e.g. "The first thing I did when I got my licence was a Macca's run."

14.

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Jasmin: This has to be an insult. I mean it’s definitely not a compliment is it? Maybe it’s someone who sucks all the joy from things, admittedly not a thing maggots are famous for doing.

Dionne: If this doesn’t purely mean an animal, I’m actually concerned. To be described as a maggot is the lowest of low. I mean, have you seen them?

Jamie: Maggots are the worst of the worst, the bottom of the insect hierarchy. Even ants look down on maggots in pity.

Actual meaning: Extremely drunk, e.g. "I was fucking maggot last night. I can't remember a thing."

15.

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Jasmin: This just means a friendly way of greeting someone right? “Alright old fella?” makes sense.

Dionne: My man or my dad. We say “my old man” in the UK to describe the latter.

Jamie: I think the UK equivalent would be an “old geezer”.

Actual meaning: Penis, e.g. "You should see the size of his old fella."

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16.

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Jasmin: A rash you get from kissing someone too vigorously. Probably from kissing someone with a beard.

Dionne: Does this mean thrush? Whatever it is, it’s not pleasant.

Jamie: I didn’t want to say it but I’m also thinking thrush.

Actual meaning: A rash around the mouth caused by kissing, usually as a result of facial hair, e.g. "That make-up is not covering her pash rash."

17.

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Jasmin: A family-friendly way of saying “fuck off”.

Dionne: What men do at night when watching films of a certain kind?

Jamie: Like maybe to slack off? I’m focusing too much on making things rhyme.

Actual meaning: Go away/fuck off, e.g. "Rack off, ya moll!"

18.

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Jasmin: Americans say “I’m rooting for you” don’t they, so is it like that? To support someone. How wholesome.

Dionne: An old friend or family member? “That’s my root right there!”

Jamie: If that’s not the correct definition I feel like we could definitely make that a thing here in Britain tbh.

Actual meaning: To have sex, e.g. "Wanna root?"

19.

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Jasmin: OK I KNOW this. Kind of. You get food from one. The problem is I can’t remember if it’s a corner shop or like, a burger van.

Dionne: No idea. Sounds like something one might shout during a game of volleyball on the beach.

Jamie: Maybe it’s a combination of both and is actually food you eat on a beach – kind of like a picnic but with crabs instead of ants.

Actual meaning: Service station/petrol station, e.g. "If you need to stop at the servo, can you get some milk?"

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20.

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Jasmin: Having a tantrum. Another way of saying “threw their toys out of the pram”

Dionne: In the UK it means when someone completely loses it and blows up over something that doesn’t go their way.


Jamie:
OK, so I’m completely out of the loop because I did not know this.

Actual meaning: To display anger/throw a tantrum, e.g. "I accidentally revealed Stranger Things spoilers and she totally spat the dummy."

21.

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Dionne: A variant of briefs that rest (un)comfortably in your bum crack. I’m pretty sure (I hope) it means the same in Australia?

Jasmin: Flip flops. Check me, fluent in Australian.

Dionne: Oh, yes. They still rest uncomfortably in a crack somewhere.

Actual meaning: A form of footwear, known elsewhere as flip-flops, e.g., "Wear your thongs in the communal shower to avoid foot fungus."

22.

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Jamie: Definitely sounds like something you’d wear.

Jasmin: Tracksuit bottoms. I think.

Dionne: An item of comfortable clothing like tracksuit bottoms possibly?

Actual meaning: Tracksuit pants/sweatpants, e.g., "I didn't change out of my trackie daks all weekend."

23.

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Dionne: This has something to do with food, but I have no idea what.

Jasmin: Possibly a chocolate bar? Or a chocolate/biscuit hybrid?

Jamie: I’d eat a tucker bar.

Actual meaning: Food, e.g., "That was good tucker."

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24.

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Jasmin: I can’t even get my head around this to be honest with you. Gonna go left-field and say a woodwind instrument.

Dionne: Not quite sure how to pronounce this, but if I’m right, I think this could be an abbreviation for “you alright?”

Jamie: If it was capitalised I’d have bet my house on it being some kind of bladder infection.

Actual meaning: Short for utility vehicle, e.g. "Can I borrow your ute to move on the weekend?"

25.

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Jasmin: A wife or girlfriend of a famous footballer.

Dionne: In the UK, this means a footballer’s wife or girlfriend. If it doesn’t mean the same in Australia, my second guess would be some beef.

Jamie: It’s definitely either a footballer’s wife or some beef.

Actual meaning: To ditch school, e.g. "I'm grounded, Mum caught me wagging."

26.

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Jamie: I think “woop woop” means “woop woop”.

Dionne: “Yaaaaas, girl. Get it” A universal (I think) celebratory phrase.

Jasmin: I believe this roughly translates to “FUCKYEAHHH”.

Actual meaning: Really really far away, the middle of nowhere, e.g. "Ugh he lives way out Woop Woop, I can't be arsed to go."

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