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    Updated on Oct 9, 2019. Posted on Oct 5, 2019

    18 Rumors People Have Heard About Themselves That Are As Funny As They Are False

    People. Are. Wild. Y'all.

    A while back, we took a look at a viral Reddit thread that asked people to share the absolute funniest untrue rumor they'd ever heard about themselves. These ridiculous stories sparked even more great responses from our very own BuzzFeed Community! Here are just a few of the absolute wildest rumors:

    Casablanca/Universal

    1. "When I was in elementary school, the 'popular' girls spread a rumor around that I put my mouth around the entire spout when I drank from water fountains. I don't even know how one would do that."

    dannimarie95

    2. "A rumor once went around town that my sister found a pink dildo in my room. The thing is, I don't have a pink dildo...or a sister."

    halles42dfbde83

    3. "In elementary school, there was a rumor going around that I was a vampire. This was because I had pretty long, pointy canine teeth, and also had a cousin who transferred to the same school who went around bragging about how they loved drinking blood."

    todormaru13

    Summit Entertainment

    4. "My cousin once spread a rumor that I had a 'bread obsession' and — every time he would try to make a sandwich near me — I would hiss at him, and scream at him to 'get away from my bread.' This was all because I took the last piece of bread one time."

    chloect

    5. "It was rumored in 7th grade that I had sex with all of the guys I was on the football team with. That never happened. I’m a lesbian, and I even had a (secret) girlfriend at the time."

    bengalslikeglee

    6. "Some girls in my dance class started a rumor that I faked an injury for attention. This was while I was on crutches and had a huge scar from the surgery that you could SEE."

    blondieballerina

    Universal Pictures

    7. "In 11th grade — right before I got my license — I slipped down the steps of the school bus and broke my wrist. I was out of school for two days and, when I returned, my friends told me people were saying I had opened the back emergency door of the bus and jumped out while it was moving."

    tarak4ab842c19

    8. "My friend was cheer captain in high school. When she went to college, one of the girls at her new school didn't like her, so she started a rumor that she was only cheer captain because she 'slept with the entire football team.' Only one issue...our high school didn't have a football team. They only did cheer for competitions."

    ihateredroses

    9. "When I was 11, some girls started a rumor that I was 'walking around our neighborhood drinking alcohol and selling drugs.' I was literally in the hospital at the time, and physically couldn’t walk due to a really intense surgery."

    duronmaxine

    ABC

    10. "Due to how quickly my best friend and I had gotten close in high school, people thought we were dating. It turned into a rumor that spread around SO FAR, it got to the point that our own parents heard it and thought we were dating."

    jodidmorris95

    11. "A rumor went around that I was sleeping with a specific celebrity and was the main reason for her divorce. In actuality, all I’d ever done was cater for her once while she was in town."

    chef666

    12. "I grew up in a pretty conservative town in Indiana and, when I was in 2nd grade, I told a friend that I didn’t believe in God. I found out later that — because of this — she spread a rumor around the class that I worshipped the devil."

    bellel2

    CW

    13. "In middle school, someone started a rumor that I had a crush on this guy. My friend confronted me to ask if it was true, and I was BAFFLED. I'd literally never heard of him. She described him to me, told me his first and last name, and I still didn't know who he was."

    dachshundschnapps

    14. "I went to work one day and everyone was really shocked to see me because, apparently, I'd 'thrown a hissy fit and quit' the day before, according to a rumor."

    vtor1992

    15. "Apparently I’m dead??? I was moved to another base while in the Navy, thus leaving the course I was on. A year later, I had to take a trip back to where I was based and one guy said, 'I heard you died!' I didn’t even know how to respond to that..."

    alext4e3fc38a7

    MCA

    16. "I was born through in-vitro fertilization and a rumor spread during high school that my parents 'picked out' my genetics, gender, appearance, etc. People GENUINELY believed that all of my features were hand-picked. I was born in 1992. This still cracks me up to this day."

    oliviac4198a3606

    17. "When I got my yearbook my freshman year, I saw that they screwed up and had my picture in TWICE, side-by-side. A few days later someone came up to me and said, 'I didn’t know you had a twin sister!' This person knew me and knew I only had one brother."

    jackie811

    18. "My own mother told my sister that I was fired from Tim Horton's for 'stealing a donut' as a joke. It was obviously not true, but my sister believed it for YEARS."

    tiffanil

    Now it's your turn! What's the absolute WILDEST, completely UNTRUE rumor you've ever heard about yourself? Share your story in the comments below!

    Paramount Pictures

    Some thread entries have been edited for length or clarity.

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