We recently took a look at some "green flags" shared by Reddit users that people should be looking for in their friendships, relationships, etc. These wonderfully wholesome suggestions sparked even MORE great responses from our very own BuzzFeed Community! Here are just a few of the best:
1. "When someone goes to a store and sees something that they know you like and — without being asked to — they get it for you. This is something my dad ALWAYS did for us, and my current boyfriend does it now."
2. "When your partner respects their parents, BUT defends you if there's a misunderstanding between you and your in-laws. My husband will always take my side in an argument — even if he doesn't agree with me — and then we talk it out in private. He makes sure they know that he and I are a team and we stand together no matter what."
3. "When someone can laugh at minor mistakes and/or inconveniences instead of getting frustrated immediately. It shows that they approach life with a sense of easygoingness and humor."
4. "When someone is punctual. It shows that they were willing to organize the rest of their schedule to make sure that they showed up on time for your date, party, dinner, etc."
5. "My mom always told me to look for someone who is nice to animals, because that speaks a lot about their character. When I first met my boyfriend, I saw that he had a cat who he adored, and that pretty much sealed the deal for me!"
6. "I always get home super late, and my boyfriend leaves the front doorway light on for me. It’s such a stupidly minor thing but before he moved in I never used it; I’d just stumble my way to the kitchen. Now every night I come home it’s lit, as though he wants to ensure I feel welcomed home, and every night it makes me feel that way."
7. "My biggest 'green flag' was telling my now fiancé the things I was uncomfortable with in relationships, and he told me I 'shouldn’t have to compromise on those things to be happy.' This was right after my ex told me I 'would never find someone who agreed' with me. I knew I could trust my fiancé."
8. "My fiancé knew I wasn't confident in my appearance right from the start of our relationship. Whenever we're out and I'm looking at another girl out of envy (because she's killing it), he says stuff like 'You look just like her!' or 'She has hair like yours!' He doesn't ogle or objectify them, and he lifts me up without putting down other women."
9. "When someone puts you first, even for small things. For example, my husband ALWAYS offers me the last of something before he takes it for himself."
10. "When someone genuinely listens. Like if you say something, then a few weeks later they bring it up, like, 'Hey, didn’t you mention that?' Yes, yes I did!"
11. "When someone respects your interests! My current partner will always listen to me ramble on about bands and theater things that they're not super into. I didn’t realize how terrible my ex was until I started dating someone who didn’t make fun of me every time I talked about my passions."
12. "People who can recognize when they’ve made a mistake and own it BEFORE you call them on it. In my opinion, this shows their integrity and that they’re already working on a solution to the problem."
13. "When someone truly takes care of you. I was dating my now-wife, and we went out for a special date night. Something I ate did not sit well, and I ended up sick in the restroom. She took care of me the entire time. She stayed with me until I could get to the car, and she took care of me the whole next day."
14. "Find someone who goes out of their way to make sure you're comfortable. On our first date, my boyfriend ASKED if he could kiss me. I know it’s a small thing, but that meant so much to me. He continues to do things like that to always makes sure I’m comfortable."
15. "When they not only support you, but actively help you become the person you want to be. During our relationship my husband has taught me to drive (and helped me pass my test), guided me towards a career I now love, and encouraged me to start a master's program that I never had the confidence to do."
16. "When you are being dropped off by someone and they wait until you have unlocked the door, gone inside, and turned the lights on before leaving. This is a HUGE green flag that they care about you and your safety."
17. "When someone goes out of their way to help strangers, even when it’s an inconvenience to themselves."
18. "When a friend calls you out on your bad stuff, but in a concerned, gentle way. A real friend doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear and party your cares away with you. Real friends want to see you succeed and grow as a person."
19. "It's definitely a green flag when someone very intelligent or knowledgeable on a specific subject takes a genuine interest in your opinions and respects them, instead of belittling you."
20. "Look for someone who doesn't just listen, but takes action. I started maternity leave five months ago and — during a conversation with my husband — I said in passing that I sometimes forget to eat breakfast while looking after the baby. Now he makes me a sandwich every morning before he goes to work."
21. "When an old friend checks in on you, especially if you haven't spoken in a while. Its nice to know that you are missed and that someone is thinking of you."
22. "When someone asks you if they should take their shoes off before they walk into your home. It’s such a small but very thoughtful gesture."
23. "When your friend SUGGESTS plans for the day. It shows me they took time out of their day to think of ideas that we may enjoy doing together. Quality time is definitely my love language, but I'm usually the one planning, so it's nice when it's the other way around."
—szu
24. "A dating green flag is when all of their friends ACTUALLY like them and tell you what a good friend they are. I was at a housewarming party with a guy I was dating casually and, when he wasn’t around, his friends came up and started a conversation, mentioning what a great friend he was. Turns out they were right, and we’ve been married for five years!"
25. "It's so small, but when someone asks, 'What can I do to help?' when you appear stressed/upset, instead of just listening to you complain."
26. "When someone takes the time to care about people that they don't necessarily need to care about. My boyfriend ALWAYS asks the name of the person who is helping us at a store/restaurant/etc. He then proceeds to use their name. It's such a simple thing that I'm so glad he taught me. You can really see people's days get better because someone cared enough to learn their name."
27. "For me, the biggest green flag is vocally and passionately supporting social movements. If they believe in LGBTQ+ rights, women's equality, and that racism should not exist, that means they're able to empathize with others, which is becoming an increasingly rare trait these days."
So, now it's your turn! What are some "green flags" you try to look for in friendships, relationships, etc.? Help others and share yours in the comments below!
