32 Hilarious Viral Tweets By Parents That Made Me Howl With Laughter
"After two days of refusing to go to the beach, my 3-year-old wordlessly walked off the property, across the street, & onto the beach. I followed. She stopped at the shore, gazed at the ocean, then quietly said 'ok I go back now' & turned & went back inside" —@KCDavisSays
The year is already half over, but summer's just begun — and parents are TIRED. But everyone knows the best form of escapism is laughing at funny tweets, so here are 32 for your enjoyment!
at our beach vacation and i just saw a woman buy a baby gate and benadryl at cvs. that baby is done exploring.
— pete griffin (@PeteGGriffin) July 5, 2023
Make sure you follow all these hilarious parents on Twitter!
1.
I don’t think AI should be used to make content…BUT…if there were a way for the paw patrol to tell my son by name that if he doesn’t go to bed they will arrest him…
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) July 4, 2023
2.
There is no one louder, more observant, or as articulate as a toddler in a public restroom stall with their parent.
— emily (@emilykmay) July 6, 2023
3.
If you don’t have children but are considering it I cannot stress enough how leaving the house to walk a mile to a parade with a baby and a toddler takes at LEAST an hour and a half of prep and you WILL also forget something important.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 4, 2023
4.
My 7-year-old asked to hear his birth story, so I told him the whole harrowing ordeal and he replied, "Hilarious."
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 3, 2023
5.
me: It’s important to tell your parents everything.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 5, 2023
my 8yo: when mommy woke up this morning she looked 100 years old.
me: whatever you do don’t tell her that.
6.
On the road trip, my son pulled out his laptop and announced he was writing a novel.
— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) July 1, 2023
Me: I hope it's not about a kid with a crazy writer for a mom
My 9yo son looking at me dead in the eyes through the rearview mirror: It's about a little boy with dark secrets no one knows
7.
If you ever wanted to watch another human take 20 minutes to eat 1 slice of bread because all of a sudden they were soo hungry, then kid bedtime™️ might be right for you
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 6, 2023
8.
Me: what do you think is the worst swear word I’ve ever used?
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 5, 2023
12, shyly: I don’t want to say the eff word, but I’m pretty sure it’s when you said you effing loved cheese
Me: oh! okay
12yo: you didn’t have to use such strong language
9.
My daughter and niece have a new game where they pretend to be grannies and the game is just them loudly complaining about things in old lady voices. Anyway I’m waiting for my turn to play
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 3, 2023
10.
Sorry kids I missed your childhood I was trying to figure out which app to use to seek validation from strangers
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) July 6, 2023
11.
I forgot how morose and annoying children are in the summer, when they’re hot and everything is boring; babe I WISH I could send you on a magical fucking adventure with a distant relative who turns out to be magical, trust me
— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) July 5, 2023
12.
‘Ugh you never let me get ANYTHING!’
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) July 3, 2023
-my 5 year old holding a balloon, cotton candy, and two packs of sparklers.
13.
My teen daughter wants me to “hurry up” getting ready to go somewhere and ain’t this some karma
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) July 6, 2023
14.
I’ve never been in prison but I have been trapped in a car with a kid talking about Minecraft
— Midge (@mxmclain) July 6, 2023
15.
My husband and I have weirdly been together since college so whenever I see someone post like “5 years with this man!” and they have two kids Im like, excuse me but husbands are supposed to have held your hair back while you threw up 4 Loko then 12 years later you have a kid.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 7, 2023
16.
My baby ate meat for the first time yesterday & overnight her poop transformed from what appeared to be repurposed spinach to a completely vile, fetid paste & I've never more thoroughly considered becoming a vegetarian until this moment.
— Ashley Winter MD || Urologist (@AshleyGWinter) July 6, 2023
17.
"You can't make me do it because I'm going to run away and you won't be able to catch me because you're old and can't run fast!" 5 year olds are a different kind of cruel
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 6, 2023
18.
I spent a solid 10 minutes lecturing my kid about not writing on the couch with a pen and she said “It’s a marker not a pen.”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) July 6, 2023
19.
My son said his friend’s parents took him to Disney World for getting good grades and suddenly I’m not angry about his C- in math anymore.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 30, 2023
20.
my kid: that looks like the really old Mario, the 90s Mario
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 2, 2023
me: ouch
21.
Me: Wanna go to the pool?
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) July 3, 2023
My son: Will I get wet?
Me: [Calls husband] Good news sweetie, looks like we’re gonna be able to retire faster than we thought!
22.
What’s worse than a kid with a karaoke machine?
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) July 5, 2023
A second kid with a second karaoke machine in the same house.
23.
I did the universal sign for “call me” and my tween gave me a confused look and asked “on a banana?”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 5, 2023
24.
My kids wanted to take pictures of the fireworks but I told them firework pictures don’t come out and no one wants to see them anyway, I believe this is one of the most important life lessons I’ve ever taught them
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 5, 2023
25.
13 is in a great mood today so he's blessing us by playing The Entertainer on the piano over and over and over and OVER ITS OK IM FINE.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 5, 2023
26.
My twins are fighting over who gets to use my toilet like Henry V battling for the throne.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) July 5, 2023
27.
Took my 11 y/o out to spend some of her babysitting money and she sighed, “I thought ice cream would taste different with my own money. It tastes the same.” Welcome to the working world, kid.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) July 7, 2023
28.
My kid got overheated and said the only thing that would help was french fries, and I’m not a doctor but that sounds about right
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 3, 2023
29.
Me, running into a mom friend at Trader Joe's: oh your hair looks fabulous! Have you done anything different?
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) July 3, 2023
Her: Oh thanks! That's the lice treatment
30.
‘ew broccoli’s gross’ says the kid who puts ketchup on their pancakes
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) July 5, 2023
31.
After two days of refusing to go to the beach,the night before we leave, my 3 yr old wordlessly walked off the property, across the street, & onto the beach. I followed. She stopped at the shore, gazed at the ocean, then quietly said “ok I go back now” & turned & went back inside
— KC Davis (@KCDavisSays) July 1, 2023
32.
Happy 4th of July to all Americans, and happy Independence Day to those without kids.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 4, 2023
Don't miss the funniest tweets by parents last week:
28 Hysterical Moms And Dads Who Tweeted Their Way Through Another Grueling Week Of Parenthood
Or the funniest tweets by parents in June:
50 Hilarious Parents Who Tweeted Through Another LooOOOoooOOong Month Of Parenthood