50 Hilarious Parents Who Tweeted Through Another LooOOOoooOOong Month Of Parenthood

    "This little boy got in my car with my kids, and I assumed it was one of their friends. I asked his name and introduced myself. He gets out of the car, and my kids say, 'I don’t know that boy. I guess he just wanted a ride.'💀" —@themultiplemom

    June is already behind us because time flies and we're all getting old (a fact that kids are FAR too quick to remind us). So, as a distraction, here are the 50 funniest tweets by parents last month!

    me: *hurt my back at the gym, then made it worse moving boxes*

    my 7yo: I think your back hurts because you're getting old

    — meghan (@deloisivete) July 1, 2023
    Twitter: @deloisivete

    Make sure you follow all these hilarious parents on Twitter!

    1.

    Stevie Wonder: “Isn’t she lovely” is about the birth of my child.

    Us: This is a wedding song.

    — Kevín (@KevOnStage) June 3, 2023
    Twitter: @KevOnStage

    2.

    I like having fellow toddler moms as friends because I’ll text them like “sorry, we are going to be 25 minutes late to the park, we saw an ant.” And they’re like “no problem we’re gonna be 30 bc he had to put on his own shoes.”

    — Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 25, 2023
    Twitter: @clhubes

    3.

    Honestly insane that you can be a kid but then grow up and live alone and have no one to be like “I threw up” to

    — caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) June 25, 2023
    Twitter: @caitiedelaney

    4.

    BIG BIG CHICKEN pic.twitter.com/Edo9TMuYo4

    — Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 7, 2023
    Twitter: @missmulrooney

    5.

    On the road trip, my son pulled out his laptop and announced he was writing a novel.
    Me: I hope it's not about a kid with a crazy writer for a mom

    My 9yo son looking at me dead in the eyes through the rearview mirror: It's about a little boy with dark secrets no one knows

    — Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) July 1, 2023
    Twitter: @lyzl

    6.

    my 8yo’s friend came over wearing a Guns-n-Roses t-shirt

    me: cool shirt, one of my favorite bands when I was younger

    him: yeah it’s my grandma’s favorite band

    — Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 26, 2023
    Twitter: @daddygofish

    7.

    There was a hostage situation at my daughter’s 3 hour dance recital. It was me, I was held hostage.

    — I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 27, 2023
    Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids

    8.

    A little girl at Pride with her mouth stained BRIGHT red just passed with her family, looked directly at us, held up the drink her hand, and in the most feral voice imaginable exclaimed “I got JUICE!!!!” 😭😭😭

    — Morgan Danielle 🩷💜🩵 (@imaginmatrix) June 25, 2023
    Twitter: @imaginmatrix

    9.

    Discovered my 6yo has been challenging my work colleagues to Words with Friends on my account and she solely plays with "fart" "poop" and "butt" words

    ...so it appears as though 𝙄 solely play with "fart" "poop" and "butt" words 😬

    — Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 17, 2023
    Twitter: @LizerReal

    10.

    My daughter said the holes in my jeans make me look scruffy and I’m confused because I don’t remember giving birth to my mother

    — Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) June 20, 2023
    Twitter: @Lottie_Poppie

    11.

    it takes a village to protect the children pic.twitter.com/kLBhmhLTeI

    — ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) June 23, 2023
    Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl

    12.

    5yo: What’s Romeo and Juliet?
    Me: Well, it’s a story about two people who fell in love, and…

    [2 parents, both English professors, one a Shakespearean, give a long and age-inappropriate synopsis]

    5yo: Wow.
    Me: Yeah. It’s sad.
    5yo: Yeah. I can’t believe they FELL in LAVA!

    — Stephanie Insley Hershinow (@S_Insley_H) June 19, 2023
    Twitter: @S_Insley_H

    13.

    Lately when my kids have something to tell me they say “Hear this!” They grow up so fast, like one day they’re a baby and the next day they’re an 18th century town crier.

    — Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 24, 2023
    Twitter: @missmulrooney

    14.

    All I ask this Father’s Day is that my family join me outside on the lawn to admire the mow lines together

    — McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 17, 2023
    Twitter: @mcdadstuff

    15.

    My son set up a lemonade stand and he's sitting there with a pokemon hat and all his customers are all dudes in trucks who keep tipping him and calling him "my man" 😭

    — Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) June 19, 2023
    Twitter: @lyzl

    16.

    My kid woke up in the middle of the night because he was *checks notes* too tired to sleep

    — meghan (@deloisivete) June 7, 2023
    Twitter: @deloisivete

    17.

    Before I had a baby I read an AITA where a husband was asking if his wife was the asshole bc, overwhelmed, she handed him the baby during an important Zoom meeting, got into her car and drove away for 3 hours and at the time I was like "yes" and now I'm like "a hero".

    — Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 22, 2023
    Twitter: @clhubes

    18.

    My kids told me I swear too much so I promised to stop saying fuck but like 3 minutes later I said fuck and then I said fuck I just said fuck so you can see this is turning out to be harder than I expected

    — I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 21, 2023
    Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids

    19.

    told my daughter that I couldn't remember the name of another dad and she said "just call him big dog, dads like that" in case any of you big dogs are looking for a life coach

    — 🌜🤷‍♂️Dad Moon Rising 🤷‍♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) June 14, 2023
    Twitter: @raoulvilla

    20.

    Worst kids at the park, ranked:

    5. Yeller
    4. random kid who won’t stop asking me, an adult, to play with them
    3. kid who picks up all the toys at once so nobody can have them
    2. runny nose kid
    1. my own kid, screaming “MAMA IM TALKING TO YOU” while I try to have a conversation

    — Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 25, 2023
    Twitter: @clhubes

    21.

    I love how you can make a toddler’s day by gifting them with a grocery store receipt and telling them it’s theirs and they can keep it forever

    — Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 15, 2023
    Twitter: @reallifemommy3

    22.

    My kid drew a duck riding a spaceship. pic.twitter.com/swFRLyReSV

    — I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 12, 2023
    Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids

    23.

    me: a dozen is 12, but a baker’s dozen is 13.

    my 8yo: that makes sense because there’s a kid at my school named Baker who’s bad at counting.

    — Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 13, 2023
    Twitter: @daddygofish

    24.

    Just when you think you finally understand your kid he says “let’s do a high five, but in Spanish.”

    — mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 25, 2023
    Twitter: @notmythirdrodeo

    25.

    Today the 8 year old told me she deliberately spelled a word wrong in the last round of the school spelling bee because “if you lose you get a piece of candy, but if you win you just get a boring medal”

    — Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) June 14, 2023
    Twitter: @ambernoelle