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22 Absurdly Hysterical Viral Tweets That Prove No One On Earth Is Funnier Than A Woman

"They offered $1200 in cash for a volunteer to bump their flight & that’s how I learned I am the poorest person in this terminal." —@HeatherTDay

The Screen Actors Guild might be the next union in the entertainment industry to go on strike this year. Wouldn't it be so much easier if workers were fairly compensated from the jump? I sure think so!

if you have ever dated exactly one bored actor you know this town is in no way ready for EVERY actor to be bored and outside

— Yell in a Strike (@jelenawoehr) May 18, 2023
Via Twitter: @jelenawoehr

Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!


My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my pocket.

— ◦•●◉✿ F͏u͏c͏k͏i͏n͏ P͏r͏i͏n͏c͏e͏s͏s͏ ✿◉●•◦ (@8WithATiara) May 17, 2023
Via Twitter: @8WithATiara


Newlyweds: What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine.

Married 10 years: You’re sitting in the dog’s spot.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 17, 2023
Via Twitter: @mommajessiec


every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know

— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) May 17, 2023
Via Twitter: @traciebreaux


If men don't wanna be tempted by seeing women in yoga pants, they should probably consider getting their eye or eyes gouged out as the Bible says.

— 🎨🖌️🌺 Mona Lisa in Springtime 🌺 🖌️🎨 (@QueenVofCoffee) May 16, 2023
Via Twitter: @QueenVofCoffee


As we were leaving for work this morning my husband said something about watching the basketball game tonight and I legitimately thought we watched the series finale like two nights ago. I googled how many games are left and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it’s like 47.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 16, 2023
Via Twitter: @Parkerlawyer


I hope this email finds you well into your thirties. forties or fifties even

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 15, 2023
Via Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl


If my mother sends you a gift or a card, please write her back and let her know you received it. Otherwise, I will hear about it for the rest of my life.

— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) May 19, 2023
Via Twitter: @akilahgreen


Once an older man spoke up for me in a work meeting and later I told him I appreciated him being a good ally and he said “yeah, you gotta play the game” bc he thought I was proposing some Succession-type alliance

— my [69F] boyfriend [420M] is texting other girls (@CartoonsHateHer) May 18, 2023
Via Twitter: @CartoonsHateHer


Netflix: are you still watching? just wanna make sure😇

HBOmax: you want to watch ANOTHER episode? ugh fine hold on

Hulu: you watched one ep of this show and you didn't turn off your tv so here's a random episode of some shit you've never heard of we don't give a fuck

— You Will Find Your People is out now📕NYC 5/26 (@hellolanemoore) May 17, 2023
Via Twitter: @hellolanemoore


you can tell she fucked all her friends husbands and doesn’t have any left because a real friend would have burnt this top!!! https://t.co/vYMo6XwIWO

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 18, 2023
Evolution Media / Via Twitter: @1followernodad


I'll tell you what I'm not gonna do, I'm NOT gonna save a recipe that my whole family miraculously loved. What I'm gonna do is spend an hour searching the internet trying to remember what it's called every time I want to make it. The hard is what makes it great.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 18, 2023
Via Twitter: @missmulrooney


my friends little brother dated a girl named DrewAnn Andrews and I've never forgotten her. i hope she's doing great

— josie duffy rice (@jduffyrice) May 18, 2023
Via Twitter: @jduffyrice


getting married in the really olden times was so nuts it was like bye mom bye dad see you guys literally never again. I’ll be two miles away

— empress sissi (@historicalfits) May 18, 2023
Via Twitter: @historicalfits


will never stop thinking about the cold call I made yesterday to a person I have never spoken to in my life, who answered the phone on the second ring, in a tone of such confidence it bordered on confrontational, with "Speak to me."

— Allegra Hobbs (@AllegraEHobbs) May 17, 2023
Via Twitter: @AllegraEHobbs


thinking about when i was living with the man i was dating and he told me i couldn’t listen to his vinyl copy of pinkerton because he was saving the first listen for the perfect moment when, one day, he would be single and just moving into a new apartment alone

— miranda (@mirandareinert) May 16, 2023
Via Twitter: @mirandareinert


tv is such a powerful medium. The phrase ‘moderate to severe plaque psoriasis’ has been rattling around in my head since I was like four

— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) May 16, 2023
Via Twitter: @danielleweisber


I went to a podiatrist several months ago and his office just sent me their newsletter with a recipe for potato salad. I will be honest and say I do not think I am going to make it

— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) May 16, 2023
Via Twitter: @jilltwiss


my first job out of high school in 1999 was as a receptionist at a tiny office where i was strongly discouraged to use the computer because "it's just easier with the typewriter"

when i explained about printing address labels in Word the guy looked at me like I was a witch https://t.co/kDe6M4n9ig

— Claire Willett (@clairewillett) May 16, 2023
Via Twitter: @clairewillett


i'm crying i hate this show so bad pic.twitter.com/Kt80T6HzzB

— ire (@cavehag) May 15, 2023
Via Twitter: @cavehag
Google search history: "regulatory angle in business, regulatory angle in government america, can broadcast news impact election numbers, role of news chairman during american election, what does chairman of global broadcast news do, what is tom's job in succession, succession tailgate party summary, role of news anchors during elections america"


5-year-old: Guess what? Today in school someone’s EYE broke open.

Me: What???

5-year-old: I’m done telling this story.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 16, 2023
Via Twitter: @missmulrooney