1.
Old publicity photos of nsync always make them look like Guy Fieri's five sons
2.
Every picture of the E.T. from the Universal Studios ride looks like he's destroying you in a rap battle
3.
ah i seeeee i thought when you said you wanted to start a family it was understood i would be the baby
4.
"Unlock the car Sharon, I love you. We can make this work."
5.
One time I saw a video of a guy holding up a sign that said "I love you Stevie" at a Stevie Wonder concert. I think about this a lot.
6.
Purebread dogs vs. inbread dogs
7.
7:02 pm: I'll probably have 1 or 2 beers 2:43am: [emailing the former CEO of radio shack] WHY THE FUCJ WERE U SELLING VCRS IN 2014
8.
GORDON RAMSAY: what the fuck is that ME: it's a banana just a normal banana to eat GORDON RAMSAY: fuck it off
9.
Accidentally bought hotdog buns instead of hamburger buns so guess who's eating hamdogs
10.
Who the fuck call laundry sauce 'detergent'? Ok mr scientist lmao
11.
Best friends off the court💪🏾, sworn enemies on it. 👿😡🏀🏀Athletes understand.👌🏾💯💯💯
12.
Let me get this straight. The guy was raised by animals in the jungle with no human contact whatsoever and he named himself George?
13.
love how during intense moments in space-themed movies they'll show the dashboard panels, as though you'll be like ah. ah i see the issue
14.
Still the greatest news report of all-time by a country mile.
15.
When a zoo animal dies they always call it "beloved" or a "crowd favorite" like there's some animal named "Jimmy the zebra everyone hates"
16.
This is the funniest thing I've ever seen
17.
18.
"Come along, Trash Spaceship," I say to my purse as we leave the house.
19.
Top Movies Your Boyfriend Wants to Watch: -An Idiot Saves the President -Rich Boy Hero 4 -Silent Hero Journey Boy -Fight Fight Fight -Boats
20.
Breaking news:
21.
DOG BOSS: Any messages for me? DOG ASSISTANT: just one from Mr. Agoodboy DOG BOSS: who’s Agoodboy? DOG ASSISTANT: *tail starts wagging*
22.
#petty
23.
FEW YEARS AGO I ASKED MY HOMIE TO TRY TO HOLLA AT MY GIRL TO SEE IF SHE WOULD CHEAT ON ME THEY BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS NOW & GOT 2KIDS.
24.
My girl just asked me what am i getting her for Rihanna's birthday
25.
*someone drives the speed limit and is being a safe driver* me: OHHHHMMYYYYYFUUUCCCJKIIINNNNGODDDDDD GOOOOOOOO!!!!… https://t.co/xkM48V9e4V
26.
*continues eating while receiving the Heimlich*