1. First of all: We never mean to ruin your plans.
Seriously. We're not flaky on purpose.
2. When we RSVP "YES" to something, we're actually usually pretty excited to go.
A party? YES! I've forgotten that I hate those!
3. ...In fact, the actual flakiness tends to hit the day OF the event.
On second thought... Netflix.
4. Sometimes we even get all dressed up to go somewhere and flake RIGHT BEFORE.
You can't control when the flakiness hits. Pray for us.
5. Not everyone who's flaky is anti-social. Some people flake because they made too many plans.
Social butterflies! Or, like... social snowflakes.
6. Look, sometimes we flake because we've had a rough day at work or school and deserve time alone.
You know the feeling. We've all been there.
7. And sometimes we flake because something better came along. RUDE BUT TRUE.
How was I supposed to know my friend would call up with last minute Rihanna tickets? You can go to Fuddruckers by yourself, I guess.
8. I mean, honestly, flaking definitely makes us feel guilty...
"Yikes."
9. ...But that guilt is swiftly counteracted by the RUSH of canceling plans.
It's hard to find something that feels this good and is still legal.
10. We think of deadlines as gentle suggestions.
Like. What's the worst that could happen? Besides panic. And tears. And rage-eating.
11. And group projects? Prime for flake-age, honestly. We'll do our part at home, alone.
It's not like this is ever going to be done on time anyway.
12. And of course we're also annoyed by (other) flaky people.
We know this is annoying behavior.
13. OK, yes, nine times out of 10, "I have food poisoning" is a lie.
I can't go after all. My, um. Homunculus is inflamed.
14. We've lyingly killed off so many family members to get out of going to things, we practically need to make a spreadsheet to keep track.
"It turns out I can't go because my grandmother's cousin's goldfish is sick."
15. But we come up with these excuses because, while we don't want to hang out with you right now or ever, we still LOVE YOU!
It's an act of courtesy, if you really think about it.
16. After all, the truth would just be devastating to the ones we adore.
The truth hurts.
17. No, of course we didn't really "forget" to call you back.
But you probably already knew that.
18. Also we figure that if we've talked to you online, there's really no NEED to later hang out in person.
We're not flaking if we've technically already hung out. Cyber-ly. Right?
19. Most of the time, we know people don't believe us. Even when we're being honest about why we need to flake!
😔
20. It takes a long time to admit you're a flake.
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
21. And we always hold on to the belief that, next time, we won't flake.
So here's to next time! maybe!
