"I trust someone who orders a Big Mac."
"Bit unimaginative, though. They like to stick with what they know. Like if they went on holiday to Paris the first thing they'd do would be go look at the Eiffel Tower."
"A safe bet, but a strong choice, no half measures, no one ever gets a small Big Mac meal."
"The Quarter Pounder With Cheese is like the hipster Big Mac."
"QPWC-choosers are highly creative. Bold, original thinkers, but not too pretentious, you know what I mean?"
"What even is a quarter pounder. If someone made me identify one I would not know."
"It's a small animal native to the highlands of Chile."
"When someone orders a quarter pounder, they think of that one line in Pulp Fiction, every single time. A royale with cheese."
"I hum Lorde to myself when ordering it for that reason."
"People who order the McChicken Sandwich are too afraid to go for a more adventurous choice."
"The JLaw of the McDonalds' menu."
"I feel you could have a heart-to-heart over a McChicken sandwich. I mean it wouldn't be the best heart-to-heart but it would be okay."
"A Filet-o-fish is such a rogue choice."
"People who order a Filet-o-Fish don't know about the world."
"My cousin who lives in the countryside with no McDonalds always ordered this, and I was like, there is so much more to life."
"People who order Filet-o-Fish have never seen the sea. They're not even sure what fish look like."
"I feel bad about myself for hating people who order Filet-o-Fish."
"A Hamburger is a great mouthful of food, but only one mouthful."
"A luxury snack, a poor meal."
"Only the Hamburglar orders hamburgers. in fact , he doesn't even order them, he pilfers them."
"To order a hamburger is to not understand one's own worth and potential."
"Does the Spicy Veggie Wrap exist? Has anyone seen it in the wild?"
"Was not even aware of this."
"Is it another word for fries in a wrap?"
"Six Chicken Nuggets is a little baby meal for babies. Someone who will not share."
"Literally this is what people order who keep a notebook charting their best times in Mario Kart."
"You see it's the v drunk or v hungover option. Good for a sensitive stomach or a sensitive person."
"People who order 6 nuggs always cuddle after sex."
"They ring their grandmothers on the weekends."
"Nine nuggs or GTFO"
"I really respect someone who orders Nine Chicken Nuggets. This is the McD's equivalent of buying a bottle of vodka for the table in a club. Like 'marvel at my largesse'."
"9-nuggeted people have heavy jewelry boxes made out of solid oak and filled with family heirlooms."
"I think seven nuggets would be the perfect amount, I've thought a lot about this."
"Eight would be weird. Imagine saying "eight nuggets". Just wrong."
"Actually "eight nuggets" sounds like a Cockney Gangster nickname. Barry 'Eight Nuggets'."
"The Chicken Legend is the laddiest of burgers. A burger for bros."
"They probably call it the chicken ledgebag."
"'Look at you chickens. Arrogant pricks. Can't wait until you're turned into Chicken Legends, you mugs. Nawty.' - Danny Dyer"
"People who buy Sausage and Egg Mcmuffins have poor impulse control."
"People who buy Sausage and Egg Mcmuffins are the ones who give away the fact that you're organising a surprise party for someone."
"speak for yourself m8"
"Sweet and Sour Sauce is the best sauce."
"Oh god no it's gross."
"Once I see you go for the BBQ sauce, I feel like I know you. I mean really know you, like we'd been in a plane crash together or something."
"I keep a spare packed of BBQ sauce in my flat in case they ever run out."
"Curry sauce is the worst."
"It's like a rare bird, you never see it, but when you do, you know that person must be evil."
"I have never had this and I never will"
"A Strawberry Sundae is for children, adults would get the special McFlurry. (They have Aero on at the moment I recommend it.)"
"I think people who order this identify strongly with every role Zooey Deschanel has ever played."
"A Toffee Sundae is a celebratory order."
"Go on, have a toffee sundae, you've earned it."
"I feel like I could order a Toffee Sundae, take it home, and savour it like a fine wine. While listening to classical music. In the bath."
"A McFlurry is the only order a true hipster would enter a McDonald's for."
"The best thing you can get free with a student card. But then it melted by the time you've finished your meal and you think "should I have got the cheeseburger" but then you eat it and you're all "NO THIS WAS RIGHT.""
"Best flavour is the special one. Whatever is 'in season'."