Celebrity

Charo Is Your Badass Abuelita And Here's Why

"I am Charo. Bow to me."

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Charo's parents helped her falsify her age to appear older and marry 66-year-old band leader Xavier Cugat when she was was just 21.

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Years later in the Spanish-language newspaper La Opinión, Charo explained that the marriage was only a business contract so she could legally move to the United States.

When Charo came of age, she bought Cugat a Rolls-Royce as a thank-you, because she was already super rich off her badass guitar skills and could afford cars as gifts.

As a kid she was taught guitar by Andrés Segovia, who has been regarded as one of the greatest guitarists of all time.

...even though he told her, "Stop saying 'cuchi-cuchi' so much, Charo! Be serious!"

Charo herself is now considered the best damn flamenco guitarist is the world.

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No, really. Guitar Player Magazine said so, twice.

Charo basically invented the word "overexposed." In the '70s she appeared on basically every TV ever, including The Love Boat EIGHT TIMES.

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In 1976 Charo shot episodes for a television show called Charo and the Sergeant, but it was far too brilliant and amazing for American TV and wasn't picked up.

In the show, Charo's gets a job as a dancer at an off-limits night club and her conservative Marine Corps husband finds out. Escandaloso!!!

Charo speaks Japanese, because obviously she speaks Japanese.

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In the '80s and '90s, Charo moved to Hawaii and performed in her own dinner theater. Because of the large number of Japanese tourists, she learned Japanese. Flawless queen.

Charo, ageless goddess, is STILL charting amazing hit songs...*cough* on the dance charts *cough*

Charo's sexiness CANNOT BE CONTAINED, even when she's playing a cartoon frog in flop Disney knock offs.

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