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A Definitive Ranking Of Every "Goosebumps" Cover By Creepiness

From least to most goosebumps-inducing.

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Scholastic / Via

Giant axe wielding maniacs should be scary, but notice how that axe has no dried blood on it? It's obviously this dude's first day on the job. He might even be an intern. NOT SCARY.


Scholastic / Via

Literally the scariest thing about this cover is that he decided to paint his castle hot pink. Also, kiiiiiind of phallic, buddy. You have something you wanna get off your chest?


Scholastic / Via

There's a subculture of art school hipsters who claim this is the best Goosebumps book of all time, and they might be right. The cover is completely ridiculous, though.


Scholastic / Via

As of 2010, there have been no fatalities from hammerhead sharks. Plus, only 3 of the 9 known species of hammerheads are dangerous to humans. Scientifically, that swimming kid has nothing to worry about.


Scholastic / Via

Shrunken heads were totally the "it" accessory of 1995. Still, whoever was in charge of head shrinking didn't do a great job. That head is huge. Come on, Head Shrinker, you had one job.


Scholastic / Via

Ghosts are slightly chilling, except most of them just turn out to be lonely (or according to Are You Afraid of the Dark, simply cold and missing their favorite jacket). Ghosts are lame.


Scholastic / Via

School is inherently terrifying, but this cover brings up so many questions. Why is everything in the locker black and white? How is getting A's and B's on papers scary? What school requires students to carry seventeen books?


Scholastic / Via

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, there were more than 15,000 amusement ride-related injuries in 2005 in the U.S. From 1987 to 2000, there were an estimated 4.5 amusement ride-related deaths per year. Who knows how many deaths occur at Horrorland? The thought is downright bone-chilling.

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