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28 Things You'll Only Find Funny If You Grew Up With Religious Parents

Modest is hottest.

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1. You weren't allowed to take part in trends and games because literally everything was tainted with sin.

My super religious parents wouldn't let me play pokemon growing up because "they evolve."

2. Which meant not being allowed to read Harry Potter because it’s about wizards and witches.

*eye roll*
NBC

*eye roll*

3. And turning the lights off to pretend you weren't home on Halloween while all your friends were trick-or-treating.

Warner Bros Pictures

4. You secretly watched “explicit” music videos hoping your parents wouldn’t catch you.

Any video with a glimpse of a woman's stomach was practically porn.
Paramount Pictures

Any video with a glimpse of a woman's stomach was practically porn.

5. You used to think pretty much everything was a swear word.

But now you probably use fuck like it's the only word you know.
PolyGoram Filmed Entertainment

But now you probably use fuck like it's the only word you know.

6. And you always got told off for asking too many questions.

#Growingupblack and asking one of your parents where y'all going & they say "to hell if we don't pray" 😂

7. You were deemed the "snitch" by your friends because you genuinely thought lying was a sin.

"Yeah Miss we killed the class fish but I SWEAR it was an accident!"
TLC

"Yeah Miss we killed the class fish but I SWEAR it was an accident!"

8. And were relentlessly told you'd be punished if you got any piercings or tattoos.

Instagram: @chars_creations

Even if this was the tattoo you wanted.

9. Whenever you had a problem, the best advice was always to pray.

10. Because prayer can fix anything.

Can God pay my student loans now, please?
Paramount Pictures

Can God pay my student loans now, please?

11. Like, ANYTHING.

12. You learned how to clear your internet browsing history at a very early age.

Your survival depended on it.
Bravo

Your survival depended on it.

13. And God forbid they found any of your online conversations.

Things escalated rather quickly in 2006.
youtube.com

Things escalated rather quickly in 2006.

14. You were called out for wearing things most parents wouldn't bat an eyelid at.

Because showing your knees meant you were open for business.
Bravo

Because showing your knees meant you were open for business.

15. Which led to your parents being super helpful and gifting you with more "appropriate" clothes.

Warner Bros Pictures

Who doesn't want to wear matching ankle length dresses with their mum?

16. You weren't allowed to go to sleepovers or parties because your friends' parents had "questionable morals".

ABC

17. So the only way you could go out was after a full interrogation and background check.

18. Anytime you did anything "bad" the blame would be placed on your wild friends.

"If Harry jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?"
Olive Bridge Entertainment

"If Harry jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?"

19. Which made you never want to actually invite your friends over.

NBC

Your parents probably thought they were gay or on drugs. (They probably were... but so were you.)

20. You often had to let a good meal go cold because you spent too long praying over it.

NBC

21. Your family made you afraid of mixing with the opposite sex.

BBC

22. But harassed you about your boyfriend or girlfriend.

#GrowingUpGay Church members: You just haven't met the right girl yet. Me:

23. At first you probably thought that drinking alcohol would destroy everything good in your life.

NBC

24. Probably until you discovered the endless powers of all things alcohol.

NBC

25. Pretty soon you were probably sneaking home at ridiculous hours, and pretending you weren't hungover in the morning.

"Yes, it seems that I've caught an inexplicable 24 hour bug" was at lot easier to say than admitting that you were hungover.
Paramount Pictures

"Yes, it seems that I've caught an inexplicable 24 hour bug" was at lot easier to say than admitting that you were hungover.

26. As an adult, it's still hard to sit through family gatherings...

TLC

27. And put up with constantly hearing “Oh you’re doing so well with your life, but why are you still single?”

Marilyn Monroe Productions / Warner Bros

28. Even though you're an adult now, your upbringing will always be a part of you.

Warner Bros. Television

Although it wouldn't have hurt to have been allowed an imaginary friend without being told it was a demon.

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