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1. A mini wood print with an accurate picture of how much your heart grows when someone asks you where you're from and you get to talk about the best place in the world.
2. A 70-piece Chicago dog puzzle you can piece together while you ~ketchup~ with friends.*
3. A slate serving tray because to brie honest, no matter how many ad dollars California spends to spread propaganda that they have the "best dairy," you know for a fact that Wisconsin is, and will ALWAYS be, the dairy state and fill your appetizer board with the most delicious cheese.
4. Great Lakes or "Midwest is best" tattoos that may be temporary, but represent the place that permanently holds your heart.
5. An Alex and Ani University of Michigan bangle that'll make any current student or alumn squeal with joy until they ~go blue~ in the face.
6. A gorgeous floral state sticker to put on your laptop, phone, or anywhere where you want to display your homeland with pride.
7. A cornhole set so you can finally take your love for the game to new heights and show everyone that this sport is so competitive it deserves to be in the next Olympics.
9. An evocative Homesick candle that smells like your home state, favorite city, or even key memories of your Midwestern youth.
10. A t-shirt that'll let people know just the kind of person you are. That is, before you smile at them and say "Hey, how's it going?", even though that just makes it seem like you want something from them. Nope! It's just you showing them how it's done in the Midwest.
11. A cocktail kit because even though you might not consider yourself old fashioned, you know that this drink has been around forever for a reason: it really is that good.
12. A cute racerback tank for anyone who's not above making ~corny~ jokes about their home state's main export.
13. A beer cap map to give you the pitcher perfect art to hang on your wall. You've tried enough local beers, you might as well show it off your hard work.
14. A beautiful art print that will bring you a sense of calm just looking at it and thinking about about how all the best weekends happen when you can see all the stars in the sky.
15. A cool hardcover journal featuring a 1904 map of St. Louis that I'm glad someone dug up from the ~arch~ives.
16. A Chicago flag pizza pin to give you a little* ~slice~ of home wherever you go.
17. A mug from your favorite store to stop at multiple times a week. At least you know that Target thinks about you as much as you think about it. It's a match made in heaven.
18. A bamboo cutting board so beautiful it will bring tears to your ~buck-eyes~.
19. A dish towel you for sure read in that beautiful accent people somehow make fun of you for because they don't understand how A-mazing it is.
20. A Bloody Mary gift set because no matter how hard the brunch places around you try, you know that they can't match a single Bloody Mary you've had back home. Honestly, I don't even consider it a Bloody Mary unless there is so much garnish it counts as a meal.
21. A dainty, adjustable, stainless steel Michigan ring you'll never want to take off.
22. Fun Chicago socks feet-uring the skyline of the best city you've ever ~bean~ too.
23. A ranch dressing-shaped pool float, because we can leave the flamingos and swans and pineapples to the basic West Coast folks. Cool kids lounge on condiments.
24. An art print that shows off all of ~Milwaukee's best~ buildings that make you swell with pride every time you drive into the city and know you're home.
25. A vintage-y Indiana charm necklace to show off your ~Indy~ spirit.
26. A sign to put in your lake house (and all your friends' lake houses) because it's not summer till you head up north and jump off the pier into the ice cold lake water.
27. A big ol' tin of Garrett's classic cheddar and caramel popcorn mix, a beyond delicious confection I would trade my soul for on pretty much any given day.
28. A two-pack of cheese curds to fill the void in your life that not feeling that delicious squeaky cheese between your teeth has created.
29. A dish towel you may hear the faint chants of "M-I-Z" "Z-O-U" every time see it. Now, if only it smelled like Shakespeare's pizza!
30. A colorful enamel pin that simply speaks the truth.
31. A dainty necklace that Ames to add a touch of home to any outfit you wear.
32. An iconic W flag for anyone who (correctly) believes that we should pretty much never stop flying the W since the Cubs won the World Series in 2016.
33. A pair of coasters you can set your cold one on while you watch your precious Hoosiers on TV.
34. A t-shirt you can throw on at 7 a.m. when your buddies wake you up with a brewski in hand because it's time for the tailgate before the big game that starts at 7 p.m.
35. A Vienna Chicago dog condiment kit your friends will be very glad you bought. They're sick of you complaining every time you eat an inferior, plain old hot dog or normal-colored relish.
36. A coffee mug because everyone in the US might be from the land of the free, but you're from the land of Opes and Dreams, and that means just a little bit more.
37. And finally, two giant bottles of ranch dressing for you to put on literally everything, drink, bathe in, or whatever floats your Lake Michigan-bound boat.
You, being unapologetically Midwestern even when your friends don't understand:
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