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1.A cool cactus ready for the party of his life. Look at those glasses! And that hat! He means business!
2.A corgi inner tube because life is ~ruff~ and sometimes you just need the cutest little guy (named Ringo!) to help make it a little easier.
3.An inflatable island you'll lose your rind over when you're back in the office on Monday morning, wishing you could be floating away to paradise never to be found again.
4.Or a jumbo avocado that also comes with a pit you can use to play games with. These floats may be getting avo-control, but just like guac, you're extra, so it's totally okay.
5.A float so bougie, it basically requires you to have a glass of rosé while you use it. I mean, it *is* the drink of summer, so wine not?
6.A giant unicorn that'll help you get right to the ~point~: you're at the pool for one reason and one reason only = that epic Instagram post that'll get ALL the likes.
7.A raft for anyone who's passionate about piña coladas and getting caught in the rain.
8.Or one even your ~smallest fry~ will enjoy using. You'll be one big happy (meal) family using it.
9.A ridable bull to prove to everyone this ain't your first pool rodeo. 😎
10.A float that'll leave you feeling so chill, you won't even CARE about who ended up on the Iron Throne.
11.A jumbo intertube you'll be the queen of hearts in. Your crush ghosted you? It doesn't even matter because you're too good for that and this floatie proves it.
12.A peacock designed for optimal lounging and to show everyone your ~true colors~.
13.A spaceship so ~out of this world~, it even shoots water. Yep, that's right. Let me say it again. IT SHOOTS WATER.
14.Or one that'll *probably* be the closest you'll come to actually being on a yacht, so ~soak~ it up.
15.A huggable sloth that makes me smile just look it at. I could ~hang~ out in that allllll day.
16.A pair of rafts you'll be so egg-cited to use. Sorry, I had to do it. Also, these two little dudes are totally bacon my heart.
17.A pool float so epic, when people start hitting you up to share, you'll be like, "Sorry, new shellphone, who dis?".
18.A floating bar because you might not find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but a cold beer is honestly a close second.
19.A ride-on you’ll want to bring from a galaxy far, far, away into your pool.
20.An angle wings inflatable – now I just need to figure out how to acquire a drone that will be able to take this exact picture for me....
21.A slice because what is your ~dough~ for if not to spend it on something like this. Come on, you ~knead~ it.
22.An inflatable to bring your beer pong game to a new dimension. This isn't freshman year and we're not messing around.
23.And a magic carpet that'll show your friends a ~whole new world~ and convince them to step up their floatie game because there's really no stopping you from this shining, shimmering, and splendid life.
Me ~waving~ goodby to all the haters who say I don't need these pool floaties. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.