15 Ways All-Night Tubes Will Change Your Life

London life will never be the same. Although some bits will be similar. posted on

The London Underground is going to start running all night from 2015!

Well, bits of it, anyway. The Jubilee, Victoria and stretches of the Central, Northern and Picadilly lines. On Fridays and Saturdays.

1. This means a lot fewer Night Bus adventures.

Night buses are a great way of meeting interesting new people. You get into so many unexpected conversations with strangers. It’s horrible.

2. Instead, the late-night Underground will become a nightmarish booze train from hell.

3. There will be an estimated 374% rise in the amount of banter on the Tube.

Tom Phillips

Banter is awful.

5. And creepy men. Many, many creepy men.

6. There will be so much vomit. So much.

Fox / Via pandawhale.com

7. You will fall asleep and end up going back and forward on the tube all night.

8. And you’re going to wake up in lots of interesting new places.

Flickr: satguru / Creative Commons

This is Cockfosters station. Study this picture, because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of it.

9. A lot of people are going to have to find a new pulling technique.

Millions of people aren't going to have sex when 24 hour tubes come in.

"Can I just stay at yours the last tube has gone" <-- a thing of the past

Single people affected by the news: move to somewhere on the district line NOW if you want to sleep with a shy graphic designer EVER AGAIN.

10. Equally, you’ll have to think of new reasons to urgently leave a bad date.

“Oh, look, it’s almost ten o’clock, must run, don’t want to take any chances.”

11. And your excuse for not going to that house party in Morden on the grounds that “it’ll be a two hour bus journey home” is ruined.

New Line Cinema / Via youtube.com

12. You’ll save a lot of money in late-night cab fares…

Flickr: thewolf / Creative Commons

13. …a saving that will be completely negated by the extra amount you’ll spend on nights out.

There will be a new elite of Londoners who live on these lines and never stop partying. “Ya, I mean obvs as a 24-hourer I can stay out all night. Oh, you’re a daytimer? So sorry that you’re still on the District, darling.”

14. Tube station notice board inspirational messages will need to adapt for the late night crowd.

15. But even if it means annoying drunk people and a ruined sex life and the destruction of your wallet and your liver… it still means you’ll get to have more fun.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

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