Millions of people aren't going to have sex when 24 hour tubes come in.
The London Underground is going to start running all night from 2015!
Well, bits of it, anyway. The Jubilee, Victoria and stretches of the Central, Northern and Picadilly lines. On Fridays and Saturdays.
1. This means a lot fewer Night Bus adventures.
Night buses are a great way of meeting interesting new people. You get into so many unexpected conversations with strangers. It’s horrible.
2. Instead, the late-night Underground will become a nightmarish booze train from hell.
3. There will be an estimated 374% rise in the amount of banter on the Tube.
Banter is awful.
7. You will fall asleep and end up going back and forward on the tube all night.
8. And you’re going to wake up in lots of interesting new places.
This is Cockfosters station. Study this picture, because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of it.
9. A lot of people are going to have to find a new pulling technique.
10. Equally, you’ll have to think of new reasons to urgently leave a bad date.
“Oh, look, it’s almost ten o’clock, must run, don’t want to take any chances.”
11. And your excuse for not going to that house party in Morden on the grounds that “it’ll be a two hour bus journey home” is ruined.
12. You’ll save a lot of money in late-night cab fares…
13. …a saving that will be completely negated by the extra amount you’ll spend on nights out.
There will be a new elite of Londoners who live on these lines and never stop partying. “Ya, I mean obvs as a 24-hourer I can stay out all night. Oh, you’re a daytimer? So sorry that you’re still on the District, darling.”