The 17 Most Forgettable Celebrity Reality Shows

Featuring Rebecca Loos so many times.

17. Popstar To Operastar.

 

What’s the premise? Pop stars learn opera. Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, that guy off Changing Rooms, judges this process.
When was it on? 2010-2011 (two series).
Who was on it? Darius, Bernie Nolan, Kym Marsh, Danny from Hear’Say, Joe McElderry, Claire from Steps, Melody from The Pussycat Dolls.
Highlights? Some people, like Joe McElderry, are quite good at opera. But how does Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen know this?

16. Marco’s Kitchen Burnout.

 

What’s the premise? Hell’s Kitchen, but shitter.
When was it on? 2010 (one series).
Who was on it? Mark Watson, Nancy Dell’Olio, Carol Smilie, former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie.
Highlights? None. It was so bad. Sometimes Donna Air burnt herself, but not often.

15. The Bachelor.

 

What’s the premise? A single man simultaneously dates 25 women and eliminates one a week.
When was it on? 2003-2012 (five series).
Who was on it? Gavin Henson from rugby! Spencer Matthews from Made in Chelsea!
Highlights? Gavin Henson getting angry with one of his babes because she snogged a member of the camera crew. Oops.

14. Cirque De Celebrité.

 

What’s the premise? Celebrities learn circus tricks and perform them.
When was it on? 2006-2007 (two series).
Who was on it? Big Brother’s Grace Adams-Short, Kenzie from Blazin’ Squad, Sophie Anderton, Sinnita, Handy Andy off Changing Rooms.
Highlights? Simon Cowell, as a guest star, supporting Sinitta.

13. Celebrity Wedding Planner.

 

What’s the premise? Couples who want a free wedding let celebrities plan it for them.
When was it on? 2012-2013 (three series).
Who was on it? Jedward, Kerry Katona, the cast of TOWIE, Martin Kemp.
Highlights? Jedward decorating a wedding reception with a large, stuffed gorilla.

12. Celebrity Scissorhands.

 

What’s the premise? Lee Stafford teaches Z-listers how to cut hair, in a bid to raise money for Children in Need.
When was it on? 2006-2008 (three series).
Who was on it? Miz-Teeq’s Sabrina, Scott out of Five, Darren Day, Scott Mills.
Highlights? A dream team of Chico, David Gest and Jodie showing up, unannounced, as paying customers.

11. Celebrity Five Go To…

 

What’s the premise? Five celebrities go on holiday together and organise activities to see whether they’d make good tour guides.
When was it on? 2011-2012 (three series).
Who was on it? Anthony Costa, Christopher Biggins, Bianca Gascoigne.
Highlights? The best tour guide isn’t decided by the other celebs, but instead by random people who live in the villages which they visit.

10. Deadline.

 

What’s the premise? Janet Street-Porter is the Editor-in-Chief of a Closer supplement, which is staffed by incompetent celebs.
When was it on? 2007 (one series).
Who was on it? Abi Titmuss, Dean Holdsworth, Yvette Fielding.
Highlights? Iwan Thomas won, so his face was printed on the magazine’s front page. Natch.

9. I’m Famous and Frightened.

 

What’s the premise? Celebrities live in a haunted house to determine whether or not it is, wait for it, haunted.
When was it on? 2004-2005 (four series).
Who was on it? Jeff Brazier, Daniella Westbrook, Nancy Sorrell, Toyah Wilcox, Christopher Biggins.
Highlights? Chrisopher Biggins being so genuinely terrified of all things ever.

8. The Games.

 

What’s the premise? Celebrities compete in fake Olympics based in Sheffield. Jamie Theakston (who else?) presents.
When was it on? 2003-2006 (four series).
Who was on it? Mel C, MC Harvey, Lee from Steps, Gail Porter, Charlie Dimmock, Lady Isabelle Hervey, Jodie Marsh, MC Romeo, Danny from Hear’Say, Kevin from Liberty X, Chloe Maffia.
Highlights? Jodie Marsh weightlifting.

7. Extreme Celebrity Detox.

 

What’s the premise? In an effort to find inner peace, celebrities go on extreme diets.
When was it on? 2005 (one series).
Who was on it? Jack Osbourne, Rebecca Loos, Tony Wilson.
Highlights? A teenage Jack Osbourne doing tai chi. Just. Too. Good.

6. Celebrity Coach Trip.

 

What’s the premise? Just some celebs travelling around Europe on a coach together.
When was it on? 2005-2012 (eight series).
Who was on it? The Chuckle Brothers, Bianca Gascoigne, The Cheeky Girls, Lembit Opik, Wagner, BGT’s Stavros Flatley, Big Brother’s Nikki Grahame and Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, Pete Burns, Chantelle Houghton.
Highlights? Pete Burns and Chantelle Houghton being reunited after Celebrity Big Brother ON A COACH.

5. Celebrity Love Island.

 

What’s the premise? Twelve single celebs hanging out in Fiji and hooking up in a “love shack”.
When was it on? 2005-2006 (two series).
Who was on it? SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. Calum Best, Paul Danan, Lady Isabelle Hervey, Rebecca Loos, Bianca Gascoigne, Sophie Anderton, Kate Lawler, Brendan Cole.
Highlights? LVH pouring wine over Sophie Anderton’s head because she flirted with Chris Brosnan.

4. The Farm.

 

What was the premise? Celebrities doing some agriculture and raising animals on a farm.
When was it on? 2004-2005 (two series).
Who was on it? Jeff Brazier, Vanilla Ice, Rebecca Loos, Lady Isabella Hervey, Flavor Flav.
Highlights? Rebecca Loos famously collecting semem from a boar. Ew.

3. Have I Been Here Before?

 

What’s the premise? Celebrities find out who they were in a past life and then analyse the results with Philip Schofield.
When was it on? 2005-2006 (two series).
Who was on it? Melinda Messenger, Denise Welch, Coleen Nolan, Suzanne Shaw, John Barroman, Kerry Katona, Katherine Jenkins, Rebecca Loos.
Highlights? John Barrowman’s very serious response to being told he was a circus clown in the 19th century.

2. CelebAir.

 

What’s the premise? Celebrities work as cabin crew and check-in attendants.
When was it on? 2008 (one series).
Who was on it? Kenzie from Blazin’Squad, Tamara Beckwith, Lisa Scott-Lee, Chico, Johnny Shentall (who apparently replaced Kym Marsh in Hear’Say).
Highlights? Lisa Scott-Lee and Johnny Shentall sacking off work to party in Ibiza. Also Tamara Beckwith being pregnant for the entire series, and thus being unable to do, well, anything.

1. Call Me A Cabbie.

 

What’s the premise? Celebrities taking a two-month crash course in becoming London cabbies.
When was it on? 2006-2007 (two series).
Who was on it? Jeff Brazier, Janet Street-Porter, Carol Thatcher, Chantelle Houghton, Lady Isabella Hervey.
Highlights? The very, very serious nature of it. Including both written and practical tests at the end.

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