Royals Meet Quokka, Realise All Other Animals Overrated

Kate & Wills meet the world’s happiest marsupial. Australia rejoices.

1. At 2:45 p.m. on Easter Sunday in Australia, history was made.

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2. It involved the HAPPIEST CREATURE on Earth.

The quokka!

3. After helping their son open the Royal Bilby Enclosure, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, heirs to the British, Australian, New Zealand, and Canadian thrones, took their seats for Taronga Zoo’s Bird Show.

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4. They enjoyed a didgeridoo presentation by local Indigenous man Leon Burchill.

5. Then listened to a Welcome To Country by Taronga Aboriginal Project Co-ordinator Nardi Simpson.

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6. Then it was on with the show! First up, the sulphur crested cockatoos: spot the birdy!

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7. Next up, the brolga, or Australian crane.

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8. Then the soaring black kite Steller.

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9. Kate and Wills were impressed by barking owl Ripley.

10. Then the star of the show, THE GREATEST ANIMAL KNOWN TO MAN, made her appearance.

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11. Autumn the AMAZING quokka.

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12. The vulnerable quokka is a small marsupial about the size of a domestic cat.

13. Permanently smiling, it has been described as “The Happiest Animal On Earth.”

14. At the sight of this most cutest of animals, the entire auditorium fell into awed, deeply contented silence.

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15. At the culmination of the show, Kate and Wills feigned interest in a pair of echidnas.

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16. The press pack were distracted…

17. It was all a ruse for the couple’s real goal.

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18. Spending as much time with Autumn the quokka as possible.

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19. This being autumn in Australia and all.

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20. But mainly because said quokka is a JOY TO THE WORLD (like all quokkas), and thus the best goddamn thing Kate and Wills have seen in Australia.

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21. See. Quokkas GUARANTEE happy smiles. They’re the greatest!

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22. (PS: the Royals also met a koala. Whatevs)

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