1. Ladies and gentlemen, please introduce yourself to German model Andre Hamann.
2. As you can tell, he is what scientists would classify as “really, really, ridiculously good-looking.”
3. Men want to be him, and women and EVERYONE wants to be with him.
4. He has abs that only the most accomplished of mountaineers should attempt to climb.
5. We have also heard unconfirmed reports that his hair has been insured for $100,000.*
*We totally made this up, but you believed us for a second, right?