27 Struggles Only People With Enormous Hair Will Understand

Hello, I’d like to buy all the conditioner, please.

1. #Wokeuplikethis.

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2. This is you halfway through a blow-dry.

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3. This is you at the end of your gruelling daily three-hour grooming session.

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4. You’re scared of hooking up with another hairy person in case you inadvertently raise a tribe of wolf-people.

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5. The state of your hair is a humidity alarm for everyone around you.

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6. And it adds a full five inches to your height.

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7. Sometimes it feels as though your hair has a mind of its own.

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8. It eats elastic bands for breakfast.

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9. Hairbrushes for lunch.

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10. And combs for dinner.

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11. It’s probably even devoured the odd person when you weren’t looking.

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12. People always want to touch it.

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13. Except for hair stylists. Faced with your giant barnet, they’ll sigh and start doing stretches before they work on you.

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14. You cut it short once, and looked like a shorn sheep for six months.

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15. Wearing your hair up gives you a headache within 30 seconds.

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16. Which means you see everything through a frame of hair.

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17. Every single day of summer is like walking around with an overheated poodle strapped to your head.

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18. And sometimes the sheer weight of your hair is too much for your neck.

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19. You kind of wish it was still the ’70s, because giant hair was hot back then.

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20. Your hair rejects most hairstyles within a couple of hours.

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21. In fact, you really only have two styles: The “Lana Del Rey” (when you’ve put product in your hair).

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22. And the “GREAT SCOTT!” (when you haven’t).

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23. But, for all its trouble, you wouldn’t give up your giant hair for anything.

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24. Because enormous hair is awesome.

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25. And, on cold days, it doubles as a scarf.

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Robyn Wilder is a staff writer for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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