1. Walking into someone.
2. Nearly walking into someone.
3. Being walked into.
4. Nearly being walked into.
5. Walking into a door.
6. Not hearing what someone has said.
7. Thinking you heard what someone said but being so scared of being wrong about what they said that you ask them to repeat it, just in case.
8. Calling someone on the phone.
9. Answering the phone in someone else’s presence.
10. Being late.
11. Being early.
12. Being predictably punctual.
13. Using too much milk.
14. Not using enough milk.
15. Walking across a zebra crossing.
16. Letting someone walk through a doorway before you.
20. Spilling your pint on someone.
21. When someone spills their pint on you.
22. When you pay for a packet of chewing gum with a tenner because you don’t have anything smaller.
23. When the bartender mishears your order.
24. When the bartender drops your change as they pass it back to you, even though it’s clearly their fault.
25. Checking your phone.
26. Not replying to an email.
27. Replying to an email too quickly.
28. Replying to a work email over the weekend.
29. When offering your seat to someone a millisecond late.
30. Not offering a drink to someone within the first 10 seconds of them entering your house.
31. Asking a shop assistant for help.
32. Not having a stamp, lighter, and pen on your person at all times.
33. Paying in coins for something.
34. Asking someone in the street for anything at all (directions, lighter etc).
35. Not having something or knowing something someone on the street asks you for.
36. Sending something back to the kitchen/bar if it’s raw/wrong/likely to kill you.
37. Making an early taxi driver wait until the agreed time you wanted to leave at.
38. Piers Morgan.
39. Making a joke.
40. Making a joke someone else doesn’t get.
41. Not getting someone else’s joke.
42. Someone else’s baby being sick on you.
43. Someone else’s dog trying to bite you.
44. Someone else’s car trying to run you over.
45. Someone else’s partner trying to chat you up.
46. Drinking too much.
47. Not drinking enough.
49. Telling the truth.
50. The weather.
51. Centuries of colonial oppression and exploitation.
52. Taking slightly too long to board a bus.
53. Ordering any drink at the bar more complicated than a beer or glass of wine.
54. Ordering any drink at a bar.
55. Wanting the attention of a waiter in a restaurant.
56. Asking for your bill in a restaurant.
57. Walking in on your flatmate doing something ordinary in the kitchen.
58. When you need to get to the fridge and someone is standing between you and the fridge.
59. Coming down with an illness.
60. Doing poorly on an exam.
61. Doing very well on an exam.
62. Asking someone on a date.
63. Accidentally making eye contact with a stranger.
64. Accidentally making eye contact during sex.