44 Reasons Why Your Life Will Be So Much Easier In 2013

We really learned a lot in 2012. Now it’s time to put it all to good use.

1. Because now your kids will stop falling out of their beds.

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2. Your fitted sheets will be neat and flat.

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3. All of your hard-boiled eggs will now be heart-shaped.

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4. But best of all, the eggs will be perfect and unblemished.

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5. And you could even make, like, a hundred of them at once.


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6. Your white wine will always be the perfect chill temperature.

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7. Access ALL OF THE SNACKS with one spin of your hand.

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8. Get 30 seconds of your life back.

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9. Get a FULL MINUTE of your life back.

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10. You will never have a bad hair day.

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11. And your clothes will actually FIT.

No matter how bad at doing laundry you are.

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12. Speaking of laundry…

You can keep reusing the aluminum ball for months and months.

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13. You’ll finally be able to tell your keys apart.

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14. They’ll match your perfect colorful manicure.

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15. Break in your new shoes in less than five minutes.

Shoes feeling tight? Put on socks before slipping on your shoes and aim a hairdryer at your feet. Keep them on while they cool.

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16. Now you know the proper way to eat a cupcake.

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17. Your sponges won’t be all gross.

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18. Never suffer from Sriracha Overload again.

As if there even was such a thing.

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19. Anytime you feel tears coming on…

It will stop you from crying and becoming a puffy red mess.

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20. Your home will smell amazing.

Place coffee beans and tea lights in a ramekin.

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Wrap candle pillars with cinnamon sticks.

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21. All the stink will be eradicated from your life.

So put wads of newspaper in your shoes and refrigerator bins.

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22. All your ice cream will be eaten out of a COOKIE BOWL.

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23. The same ice cream that you didn’t even need to thaw out!

Instant gratification.

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24. Keep your favorite pair of jeans, even if the zipper keeps sliding down.

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25. Never again endure the sadness of squished bread.

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26. Your next bag of microwave popcorn will be kernel-free.

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27. That pancake batter is gonna come out REAL smooth.

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28. Your beer will be ready to drink within 15 minutes of arriving home from the supermarket.

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29. And you can store them without taking up the whole top shelf.

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30. You will be organized for once.

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Your drawers will look like this…

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Your spice rack will look like this….

Aaron Williamson
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You will clean, because your cleaning products will be neatly displayed in a shoe organizer.

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31. Your face won’t be greasy.

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32. And your sweaters won’t be all linty.

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33. Your buttons will stop falling off.

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34. You’ll be ready for any impending disaster.

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Don’t have a tub of lard lying around? Use Crisco.

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35. Mosquitoes will totally avoid you from now on.

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36. You’ll find everything you ever lost in 2012.

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37. Your car will now have the appropriate number of cup holders.

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You can also use a shoe.

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38. Your BLTs will all be AMAZING.

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39. In fact, you’ll only be eating perfect sandwiches from now on.

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40. You’ll be eating grilled cheese in no time.

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41. You’ll realize there are multiple uses for every single thing ever.

Plastic bottles.

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Upside-down wine glasses.

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Beer cans.

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42. You will be the life of every party.

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43. You will spend the next year secretly drunk on beer.

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44. And more excitingly, vodka gummy bears.

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