1. See-through maxi dresses with the wrong underthings.
If you don’t have the right slip dress to wear under your see-through maxi dress, don’t wear it at all.
2. Celebrities who can’t move past 2007.
Even if 2007 was the last year of your cultural relevance, don’t let this happen to you!
3. A fringed midriff-exposing tank top-making booth.
This actually exists. But no matter how inspired you feel, don’t channel your creativity into a slutty shirt.
4. Nationalist propaganda.
This is still a serious problem. Betsy Ross is rolling over in her grave right now.
5. The belief that tall boots negate the need for pants.
But kudos on the water pack! It’s important to stay hydrated.
6. Treating crocheted tops as a form of “clothing.”
7. Thinking that being at a music festival makes you Native American.
Vanessa Hudgens, upon exiting her VIP teepee.
This girl at least brought the best accessory of the entire festival — her own rainbow.
8. Using neon to show that you are a “party.”
Acid bath, anyone?
9. Ghost boobs.
They still haunt the festival grounds. Spooky.
10. Shoes worse than cowboy boots or Uggs.
11. Face paint as a means of bonding with your girlfriend.
It’s the new makeover! Hopefully no one broke it to them that Animal Collective actually played last year.
12. Gauzy wraps as an attempt to become more bird-like.
(Drugs probably also help.)
13. Showcasing your alternative bro-ness by wearing a dress.
They’re less likely to get trampled in the mosh pit during “Pumped Up Kicks.”
14. Trying to be avant-garde and futurist types with plastic wrapping.
These two festival-goers have bucked the whole neo-hippie trend and are totally ahead of their time. After consulting my Farmers’ Almanac, I predict everyone will be wearing this in 2013.
15. David Hasselhoff as “Witchgaze.”
Sadly, there were no witch house bands performing this year, but the Hoff did a great job representing the genre.