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26 Emergencies That Weren’t Actually Emergencies

Calling 999 is for real emergencies, not for when you’ve found a squirrel.

1. When firefighters attended this bum-related crisis.

2. When this jacket was tragically stolen but, er, wasn’t.

3. When this apartment wouldn’t surrender.

4. When this squirrel felt the full force of the law :-(

5. When this angry, drunk Manchester United fan called the police because his team wouldn’t win.

6. When this mystery baffled the greatest criminal minds of a generation.

7. That time it rained in Brighton.

8. When someone phoned South Yorkshire Police and said:


It’s my hamster. It’s got out of its cage. It’s gone into the bathroom and it’s gone down into the floorboards. Is there any chance anyone could come and help me get it out?

9. When these people may have possibly overreacted. Just a bit.

10. When this sneaky pumpkin criminal struck.

11. When this killer goldfish went postal.

12. When this neighbour’s farts were mistaken for domestic abuse.

13. This dissatisfied sex enthusiast.

14. When this guinea pig emergency happened.

15. When this terrifying incident happened.


A MAN dialled 999 when a cat wandered into his home, police revealed today.

The worried householder phoned police to say that the large moggy had walked through his back door into his kitchen.

The caller, from Gloucester, was politely advised to pick up the cat and remove it from the house.

He was also warned the situation was not an emergency.

16. That time when the moon wasn’t a UFO.

The full conversation between the moon caller and police is worth quoting in full


Control Room:: “South Wales Police, what’s your emergency?”

Caller: “It’s not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there’s a bright stationary object.”

Control Room:: “Right.”

Caller: “If you’ve got a couple of minutes perhaps you could find out what it is? It’s been there at least half an hour and it’s still there.”

Control: “It’s been there for half an hour. Right. Is it actually on the mountain or in the sky?”

Caller: “It’s in the air.”

Control Room:: “I will send someone up there now to check it out.”

Caller: “OK.”

Then later on when an officer is dispatched…

Control Room:: “Alpha Zulu 20, this object in the sky, did anyone have a look at it?”

Officer: “Yes, it’s the moon. Over.”

17. Any time this doctor is on the scene.

18. When this County Down fast food fan got angry.

19. When this smell happened.

@_youhadonejob It's all kicking off in my home town too. #PrayForSileby

— Middle Aged Gay (@_MiddleAgedGay_)

20. When police investigated Emu.

It's all kicking off in Truro!!!!

— Simon Reed (@aramblingidiot)

21. When this dastardly pound shop villain got away.

Note: “The foil was worth £1”.

22. When thieves took this “distinctive pillowcase”.

23. When this potato tragically lost its life in a fire.

24. “I’ll get you, cheese burglar!”

. @ajhmurray It's all kicking off in Crouch End #notnews

— Nick Henderson (@that_nick)

25. When Swedish police investigated a domestic disturbance to find… a couple making IKEA furniture.

Toby Melville / Reuters / Via thelocal.se

“Neighbours of a family in western Sweden called the police after hearing banging and screaming inside a nearby apartment, but were surprised to learn that a baby and a set of Ikea instructions were the cause of the commotion.”

26. When this epic snowman-related incident took place.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Patrick Smith is the UK media editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
 
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