1.
When he casually drifted by on the airport walkway.
2.
When he flashed a smile on the airplane.
3.
When he briefly made me interested in owning a red leather jacket.
4.
When he was looking at Edward Norton and it made me want to be Edward Norton.
5.
When he turned off the power because it was raining.
6.
When he rocked this mostly see-through HUSTLER shirt.
7.
When he rode his bicycle in the house.
9.
When Ed Norton fixed his bow tie before the two headed out.
10.
When he was watching shit go down.
11.
When he was talking about the rules of Fight Club, which I cannot get into at this time.
12.
When he got really serious about those rules.
13.
When he smirked after announcing that he would like to fight Ernest Hemingway.
14.
When he stood up after a bloody fight and I was like, "I need to do more sit-ups."
15.
When he looked back like, "Yeah, you do."
16.
When he was cleaning his nails in the bathroom or whatever.
17.
When he wore this bathrobe.
18.
When he appeared around the corner.
19.
When he walked up the steps...
20.
... and into my dreams.
21.
When he looked like a total badass.
22.
When he took a drag after sex.
23.
When the only thing he was wearing was a rubber glove.
24.
Again with the bathrobe.
25.
When he adorned this floral shirt.
26.
When he put on safety goggles.
27.
When he enlightened us all.
28.
When he sold his patented soap to the rich folk.
29.
When he was all, "Hey, this is Fight Club, man."
30.
When he was holding on to this pipe.
31.
When he was in this outfit hitting up cars with a baseball bat.
32.
When he was cutting newspaper clips in sunglasses.
33.
When he changed a man's life outside a local convenience store.
34.
When he wore this cool vest.
35.
When he ate an apple and stared off into the distance.
36.
When he was behind this other dude.
37.
When he emerged from the house wearing my favorite bathrobe.
38.
And when he rolled up the sleeves of that bathrobe and crossed his arms.
39.
When he was up to no good.
40.
When he was upside down.
41.
When he was in this suit.
42.
When he was just standing there watching.
43.
When he looked at Edward Norton again.
44.
When you weren't sure what he was up to.
45.
When he silhouetted the room.
46.
When he was peacocking all over the hotel room.
47.
And then took his sunglasses off.
48.
When he came closer to the camera with his newly shaved head.
49.
When he looked like he was on a high fashion runway.
50.
When he looked up like, "What is life? Are any of us really alive?"
51.
When he turned on Norton.
52.
When he was basking in the glow of his mayhem.
53.
When Norton pulled the ol' "The gun's not in your hand, the gun's in MY hand" move.
54.
And finally, when Brad Pitt was like, "You gotta be f*cking kidding me."
No, Brad Pitt, I am not kidding you.
